It is 2026 everywhere except, apparently, one lesbian bar in western Massachusetts. Less than a year after opening, Last Ditch Bar is already struggling financially, yet its patrons are still masking up inside the bar like it’s 2020. So the owners tried something truly daring to bring in more business: one mask-optional night a week. You can imagine how well that went.

Last Ditch opened in Greenfield with considerably bigger ambitions than simply pouring drinks. The queer bar and arts venue was supposed to be a community space where poor and homeless people were welcome. Nobody would be turned away because they couldn’t pay, and what the founders called “systems of care and action and aid” would flourish.

Which all sounds very lovely until the rent comes due. And actual money has become something of a problem at Last Ditch.

The most famous bar in America, as of this week, is Last Ditch—a small, failing lesbian bar in Greenfield, Massachusetts, with $10 Negronis and a masking policy more fit for a CDC containment lab than a bar.@kittypurrzog on the story of the lesbian bar that no-one can stop…

— The Free Press (@TheFP) September 24, 2026

Three housemates in their twenties started the place, and today Jackie Matellian is the only founder still running it. She has reportedly wrecked her credit, spent six months living in her truck and is now working four jobs while trying to keep the bar alive.

The other two founders have stepped away from daily operations.

One of them went to clown school. No, really. I am not making this up or just riffing here.

With bills piling up and customers apparently not piling in, Last Ditch announced that Saturday nights would become mask optional. Just Saturdays. The rest of the week could remain safely preserved in amber somewhere around April 2020.

This did not go over well.

Apparently making masks optional for one lousy night a week was a bridge too far. OPTIONAL.  But allowing other people to show their entire face on a Saturday night? Now we have a crisis.

The reaction went straight past annoyed and landed somewhere around ableism, eugenics, and a mass-disabling event, with one commenter accusing the owners of killing disabled people in the name of leisure and convenience. Another reportedly hoped the bar would be firebombed.

Ladies. Get a grip.

And I have questions about the word disabled here, because it is doing an awful lot of work in this story. We keep hearing about disabled and immunocompromised patrons, but there isn’t much explanation beyond that. And frankly, if being in the same room with an unmasked stranger presents that serious a risk to your health, why on earth is a bar your Saturday night destination?

At some point, personal responsibility has to enter the conversation. A bar is an indoor room full of people eating, drinking, talking, laughing and socializing. Nobody is forcing you to go. Nobody is forcing you to take off your mask. But apparently everybody else is supposed to remain masked so you can safely enjoy a cocktail.

And yes, I wondered how one drinks a cocktail through an N95 too. After seeing where Taylor Lorenz promoted some sip mask, I had to dig in and look it up. Ya’ll, this is not a spoof.

And because apparently none of this had gone far enough, there was a three-and-a-half-hour community meeting. They brought in mediators, including a licensed therapist, started with a calming breathing exercise.

Three and a half hours later, the landlord still wanted his $3,900.

And then, because apparently this story still wasn’t weird enough, Rep. Rosa DeLauro’s official X account wandered into it, posting about getting a group together to visit the weird lesbian bar in western Massachusetts.

That was followed by an update: trip canceled. Nobody wanted to mask.

trip cancelled, no one wanted to mask https://t.co/pHosa7rLvc

— Rosa DeLauro (@rosadelauro) September 23, 2026

Clown school. Sip valves. A three-and-a-half-hour community meeting with a therapist. Rosa DeLauro trying to organize a field trip to a lesbian bar in Massachusetts that is struggling to stay open because apparently even its own customers can’t agree on whether it’s safe to show their faces inside.

You really can’t make this stuff up. Good grief, I thought we were getting better.

Apparently, we are not.

Feature Image: AI-generated illustration