He’s back, and Dylan Mulvaney is just as obnoxiously hypocritical as ever.

I know that nobody actually missed the Temu Audrey Hepburn when he faded out of public view after blowing up the Bud Light brand almost two years ago, but apparently Dylan Mulvaney is ready to jump back into the spotlight and promote a self-aggrandizing memoir – all while demanding privacy at the same time.

While promoting the new book, Mulvaney told The New York Times she is asking for privacy from others while continuing to share the intimate details of her life to millions online.

‘I’m trying this new thing where I keep certain things to myself,’ Mulvaney wrote in the book. ‘Little yummy womanly moments just for me.’

However, the book notably discusses private moments including sexual intimacies and she told the NYT her fans may find the book ‘a little raunchier than expected.’

So, Mulvaney’s need to be an attention whore has not changed, and no woman has ever said “little yummy womanly moments,” EVER. However, his fan club at “The View” was more than happy to give him attention, promote his book, and gloss over the fact that he triggered one of the most successful boycotts in modern American consumerism. To Dylan Mulvaney, having the face on a can that launched the boycott was “confusing” – proving once again that he is completely clueless.

“Well, I will start by saying I love beer, and I always have,” Mulvaney remarked during an appearance on “The View” Monday promoting the new book “Paper Doll: Notes from a Late Bloomer.”

Mulvaney continued, “So, I mean, when I took that deal, I didn’t think anything of it, because I was, like, ‘Oh, this is perfect.’ It felt like an organic thing to do, and it was just another part of me.”

The trans influencer described being confused about the controversy and how it kept growing, saying, “I realized I had become the poster child for this thing when [being] trans is just a small part of me.”

Mulvaney lamented not having “all the resources” to get through the backlash, adding that while being “the most privileged of transness,” the rest of the trans community is even less fortunate and in need.

“But what I think was really special about writing about the experience was that people see me as this, like, eternal optimist, but I think sometimes the people that are seen that way are often the ones that are hurting the most,” Mulvaney said. “What brings me the most joy is my gender euphoria and to have that used against me was such a mind game.”

What Dylan Mulvaney describes as “gender euphoria” would be what sane people recognize as a gay man doing exaggerated cosplay for attention. We’ve all seen his clips from “The Price is Right” before the declaration of “transition,” and there is no difference between the Dylan Mulvaney of then, and the one we see now, except he’s now wearing a dress. But we’re supposed to believe that this person has always been female – even though he doesn’t really believe that himself. As Kirsten Fleming, who reviewed his book about his transition for the New York Post notes, he thinks being a “girl” was simply a thing he could now declare (like bankruptcy) and expect people to buy the role and the costumes he was now acting out.

“Day one of being a girl and I’ve already cried three times. I wrote a scathing email that I didn’t send, I bought dresses online that I couldn’t afford, and when someone asked me how I was, I said, ‘I’m fine’ when I wasn’t fine,” Mulvaney writes. “How’d I do, ladies?”

The nauseatingly pink book, with gingham print edging its 263 pages, is a study in narcissism and a deep desire for fame and public affirmation.

Fleming notes that Dylan Mulvaney has been on the hunt for fame for a very long time, and that his biggest thrill seems to be getting attention from famous people.

Mulvaney writes about coming out three times — first as gay, then as nonbinary and then (finally?) as trans. The latter seems to have stuck because it netted the most attention, the most mainstream notoriety and the most validation.

The California native litters the pages with celebrity name-drops: singing in a cabaret with Josh Groban and “Snow White” star Rachel Zegler; FaceTiming with “Queer Eye” star Jonathan Van Ness.

Not to mention the time Kathy Hilton said she “woulda bet a million dollars” Mulvaney was “born a girl. God, you’re stunning, sweetie.”

In fact, there’s a running theme of tallying up compliments. (“You’re the most stunning girl in the place,” a British reality star tells her.)

Mulvaney’s delusions remain perfectly intact, as he believes that his life and “experiences” are the center of the universe.

The drama geek’s metamorphosis is performative in “Paper Doll,” complete with fantasies about the perfect actress for a big-screen adaptation (Dakota Fanning) and reductive props that include Capri cigarettes, tampons, makeup and vintage clothing.

At every turn, Mulvaney comes off as a gay man living a campy drag fantasy that is utterly untethered from the reality of being female.

Even the title of the book – “Paper Doll: Notes from a Late Bloomer” – implies a whole lot. First of all, women are not “paper dolls” – flat, two-dimensional cardboard cutouts that simply exist to be toys and wear different outfits. That says a whole lot about Mulvaney’s perspective on women, doesn’t it? Second, Dylan Mulvaney would like to portray himself as a “late bloomer.” With very rare exceptions, women who are “late bloomers” do not need additional hormones, not to mention facial surgery, to come into full maturity as a female. Nothing about Dylan Mulvaney says “authentic” or “naturally occurring” – every single thing, from his costumes to his hairstyles to his affect screams “fake,” “vapid,” and “shallow.”

Dylan Mulvaney’s opinions about “girlhood” and being a woman aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. The sample pages from Amazon display what you’re in for – a pink explosion of a memoir presented as if it was a diary, reading absolutely inane ramblings about Dylan’s desperate need to be taken seriously as a “girl,” demanding that everyone believe him while he plays dress-up for the world. Because to him, “all the world’s a stage,” and he is going to stay in his delusional cosplay until the behavior no longer gets him the attention he wants.

Please treat Dylan Mulvaney’s book like you would a tantruming little child in a store. Ignore it, and ignore him.

Featured image: original Victory Girls art by Darleen Click