Last month, Ted Nugent called Obama a “Chicago communist-raised, communist-educated, communist-nurtured subhuman mongrel … ACORN community organizer gangster.”  This week, he’s being attacked—and so is the guy he’s campaigning for, Texas Governor candidate (and Wendy Davis opponent) Greg Abbott.  You see, liberals (and some conservatives) are very loud about how offensive it all is.  It’s racist.  It’s hate speech.  It’s just awful.   Nugent had some choice words for female members of US leadership too, calling them “brain-dead soulless idiot,” “varmints,” “fat pigs” and “dirty whores.”  According to a lot of people today, Ted Nugent is a sexist, racist, mean, terrible person and Someone Should Make Him Stop.   There’s only one problem; well, actually there are three reasons why your blog posts and talking head outrage and Twitter fury is all a big bunch of steaming manure—and by “you,” I mean anyone on either side of the aisle who is whining.  Let’s begin, shall we?

1. Liberals don’t exactly have the high ground when it comes to inflammatory speech.  Ed Schultz can call Laura Ingraham a “right wing slut” and that’s okay.  Keith Olbermann can call Michelle Malkin a mashed-up bag of meat with lipstick on it.  No worries.  Bill Maher can even say that the real name of then-20-year-old Bristol Palin’s book should be “Whoops, There’s a Dick in Me.”  He also called Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin a c**t, but really, who’s counting?  Point being, don’t even stand up and point a finger until you’re willing to actually do something about the runaway mouths in your own camp.

2. It’s equality.  Some feminists are all up in arms about the comments Nugent leveled at the female leaders (I use the term loosely), but here’s the deal, ladies.  You guys wanted to play on the big boy field.  You wanted to get equal treatment.  Well, here’s what that looks like.  You get called names.  Maybe you don’t get a full run-on sentence like Obama did, but we can always work on that later.  Bottom line?  Politics is a dirty job.  If you want red carpet, go be a movie star.  You’re already getting paid to lie and be someone you’re not, so you already have the skill set.

3. Whether you like it or not, the Constitution protects Ted Nugent.  In fact, it was made TO protect people like Ted Nugent.  And Keith Olbermann, and Bill Maher.  And me.  The same law, in fact, that allows me to say that Michelle Obama looks like the north end of a southbound elephant also allows you to post entire websites with articles titled “Kit Lange is an utter cretin.”  (That’s a true story, by the way.)  It allows you to write a thousand articles about what you think I am.  It also allows me to come back and write a blog post in response that is just the word “LOL” in 52 point font.

It also protects Ted Nugent, and allows him to say whatever he wants about his government or the people in it.  That’s called the First Amendment.  It is sacred.  It is not up for debate.  In fact, when I see conservative pundits talking about how Nugent is so offensive, I think about all the things that we see in Hollywood, and all the scandals in Washington involving sexting and penis pics and brothels and gay porn, and I shake my head because it’s all just a big farce.  The outrage is fake.  It’s a political vehicle to garner public support for themselves by coming out “against injustice” and other buzzwords.

It’s all really simple.  He can say what he wants.  Until you’re willing to end the porn industry, stop events like the Folsom Street Fair, and jail everyone who says mean things, then you can shut up about Ted.  By the way…if you are willing to do all that, then you don’t have a clue what freedom of speech is anyway.