Somewhere, in an alternate dimension, the Oscars are still going on. It only took them over three hours to end the show on the biggest fail/twist ending in the Academy’s history. I’ll try to recap this in a coherent fashion.

First of all, I did not subject myself to the torture of actually watching the show. I have young children, and watching an awards show for movies they will never likely watch holds no appeal for them. They don’t even care that two things they did see (“Zootopia” and “Piper”) won awards. So I kept up on Twitter, watching the show slide by in clips and tweets, while I continued to live my life.

So I casually noted that both supporting actor and actress awards went to “people of color.” This pleased the Twitter horde.

Mahershala Ali poses in the press room after winning Best Supporting Actor for 'Moonlight' #Oscars pic.twitter.com/DHZfPshenD

— MEFeater Magazine (@mefeater) February 27, 2017

Viola Davis poses with her Oscar in the press room after winning Best Supporting Actress #Oscars pic.twitter.com/UMRmzfh9tV

— MEFeater Magazine (@mefeater) February 27, 2017