The San Francisco Hook Up Truck: Sluthood Goes Mobile

hookup truck

The city that brings us such cultural gems as the Folsom Street Fair is now bringing yet another display of cultural lewdness: the hook up truck! Since going back to the privacy of your own home — or a hotel room — is clearly too much to ask of some people, “conceptual artist” Spy Emerson decided to solve what is clearly one of the world’s most pressing problems: where to have sex in public without getting arrested, preferably with strangers!

“It’s a small room. Everyone who has seen it has had so much fun. It’s like being a kid in a fort,” she said. “It’s designed for sex. There’s a bench, a bar to hold onto, and there’s a mirror on the ceiling. I’m still putting the finishing touches on it.”

… After stories of the Hook-Up Truck first made the rounds on the internet, Emerson said she’s been getting a flood of calls from people eager to try her project out.

“The response has been so large. I didn’t realize the scope of how many people would be interested,” she said. “There are so many people who want to use it. You know, for a tryst, or work-time afternoon delight. A single mom with two kids who said she doesn’t have any time asked if we could be there in her driveway so she could have sex with her boyfriend — just a quickie.”

How many single moms really need a hook up truck to have sex with their boyfriend in the driveway? Call me crazy, but there are these magical things called locks. I’d imagine that single mothers would be more keen to use those than fork over $75/hour for a hook up truck, because when you’ve got kids to take care of, every dollar counts. Let’s be honest and call this what it is, shall we? Which is exactly what the San Francisco CBS affiliate is doing: calling it a haven for casual sex.

Glamour and Cosmopolitan magazines are both all over this idea, because what their readers need is obviously a new way to be even sluttier than they’re already being encouraged to be. The SF Weekly and the Huffington Post are enthusiastic as well. Here’s a good question though: who actually wants to use this thing? What kind of woman, anyway, would meet a guy at a bar and then be thrilled at the prospect of getting it on in the back of a delivery truck? Honey, if a man can’t even be bothered to take you home, then he ain’t worth spreading your legs for.

In all seriousness, is this what we’re coming to? It’s one thing to have sex with fifteen different people on any given night. But once upon a time, people at least would do so behind closed doors, privately. Isn’t that what the liberals and feminazis always say they’re so concerned about? That what they do in private isn’t anyone’s business? But see, it’s not private anymore, is it? No, the doors are being flung wide open and not only are we all supposed to know the details of the sex lives of fellow Americans, we’re supposed to approve of it as well. It’s not enough for people to just be sluts anymore — they’ve got to parade their sluthood in public, and everyone else better approve, dammit, because somehow, sluthood is supposed to be empowering.

Now we’re seeing where people are not only being encouraged to have casual sex — hardly a new thing, of course — but they’re being encouraged to do it in public. Because let’s be honest, this isn’t really private. Heck, they’ve even thrown in a webcam so that couples can broadcast their sexcapades. It’s like culturally, we’re just sinking lower and lower. How far do we have to fall before we finally say enough?

Become a Victory Girl!

Are you interested in writing for Victory Girls? If you’d like to blog about politics and current events from a conservative POV, send us a writing sample here.
Ava Gardner