Oregon governor John Kitzhaber’s fiancee Cylvia Hayes has problems with marriage, it seems.

Divorced twice before the age of 30, she now admits to having entered into a sham marriage with an 18 year old Ethiopian immigrant in 1997, in exchange for money, so he could stay in the country.

Wiping away tears at a Thursday news conference, Hayes said she accepted around $5,000 to marry the immigrant, Abraham Abraham, in 1997 so that he could remain in the United States.

“It was a marriage of convenience,” Hayes said. “He needed help and I needed financial support.”

Hayes said she was “ashamed and embarrassed,” and did not tell the governor about the marriage until the Willamette Week newspaper began asking questions. She and Abraham have since divorced.

Unfortunately, it seems that the statute of limitations (which would be 5 years) has run out on this crime – and it IS a crime. But now Hayes – who for some reason, gets to style herself as Oregon’s “First Lady” even though she is not married to the governor (I guess “First Girlfriend” or “First Fiancee” doesn’t sound as authoritative or catchy when she is busy self-promoting her consulting business while getting to play “First Lady” and potentially trading on her connections and getting public perks), now gets to stand in front of the cameras and sob big crocodile tears about how she was young and stupid.

Uh, no. You could maybe claim that about your first two marriages, but you should have figured out a few things before you took on a third one. How nice that she can now publicly admit to committing a felony and get away with it because the statute of limitations has run out. And kudos to local paper the Willamette Week for doing the investigative journalism that so many bigger papers conveniently neglect – as a result, their story is now breaking on national outlets.

So, what happens now? Other than public scorn and general disapproval, probably nothing. The fraud husband, identified as Abraham B. Abraham, could now be potentially deported – if he can even be found. She gets to stand and squirm in front of cameras. Gov. Kitzhaber, who is running for a fourth term, gets to claim he “just found out” and distance himself however he chooses – he has other campaign issues on his plate, especially the failure of Cover Oregon, the state’s Obamacare exchange website.

Just remember that confession is good for the soul, even for Oregon’s First Girlfriend. But only confess when you can’t be prosecuted for a felony, and make sure you cry in front of the cameras to make it look really pathetic.