I wrote my editor at this blog and said I couldn’t write about this.  It would hurt too badly and the connections and sorrows were too close to me.  My town is still in shock.  My kids can’t believe that death came to their young friends.  I drive through town and everywhere I go I see the sad, shocked faces of family and friends.  The flags, the flowers, the homemade signs…expressions of a community awash in shock and sorrow.   I look to the south, and still see the smoke rising from Yarnell.  Smoke haze shrouds Granite Mountain….where, the namesake Granite Mountain Hotshot crew fought another fire just two weeks ago.   Tears come over and over, with no end in sight. How could I even begin to write about this?

But my editor said I should try.  She said, “It’s times like this when we find out if we really do believe what we say to others about God.”

I have no profound, insightful things to say about God, that’s for sure.  Right now, I’m more than a little pissed off.  I, as many others in my town, have asked “why?”  Why these exceptional young men, God?  Why take them?  Aren’t there some horrible scoundrels you could concentrate on?  Murderers, rapists, terrorists?  Take them!  Not husbands, sons, fathers, grandsons, nephews, friends….men we know and love….why, God….why them?

I’ve lived long enough and wondered and pondered “why” enough times to know there is no answer coming to me or anybody else no matter how many times we ask in anguish.  My best guess is that God might be saying, “Hey, this is my business…tend to your own!”

Maybe God is saying we need to look at these men as they lived.  And what are we going to do about it.

Nineteen men.  It’s an overwhelming number in tragedy.  But, it’s a very very small number in a town, a state, a country, the world.  Think about it.  The exceptional brave and good man is rare.  When they band together as a group, it’s incredibly, almost unbelievably rare.  That we had, here in our small town of Prescott, such a band of brothers….we were graced and blessed by a miracle.

Most of us are capable of great and brave deeds.  But we never do them.  We get distracted and scared…self-doubt and self-pity cloud our potential.  These men transcended all that.   They ran  into fear and fire, thinking only of their mission…to save others.

This photo was taken by fallen Hotshot, Andrew Ashcraft. It was the last one he texted to his wife before he died.

Maybe God did answer our cries of “why?”  Maybe, He’s saying:  “Look!  Look at those wonderful men!  Now go….and for St. Pete’s sake, try to be a little more like them!”

I’ll try, God.  I will go and try to be just a fraction as brave, as strong, as good, as giving.  I most likely won’t succeed.  But one thing for sure.  When I  face a challenge or a situation that scares me beyond rational thought and I’m too selfish or lazy to do the right thing, I will, for the rest of my life, think of these nineteen heroes.

UPDATE:

If you would like to make a contribution to the families of the Granite Mountain Hotshots, please go here. A full 100% of the funds raised will go to their families.