Vanity Fair employees are reportedly clutching their oat-milk lattes and threatening to quit over the idea of Melania Trump gracing their cover. Yes, quit. As if anyone believes these pampered staffers would walk away from a cushy Condé Nast paycheck just because a glamorous former First Lady might pose for a photoshoot.
The drama is less journalism and more preschool playdate: lots of whining, lots of tantrums, and zero chance of follow-through, unfortunately.
Raging Vanity Fair employees have vowed to quit their jobs and work at a supermarket if First Lady Melania Trump is granted a spot on its cover.
‘I will walk out the motherf***ing door, and half my staff will follow me,’ a mid–level editor told the Daily Mail on Monday, hours after Semafor reported the magazine’s new global editorial director Mark Guiducci was trying to woo Melania to star on his cover.
‘We are not going to normalize this despot and his wife; we’re just not going to do it. We’re going to stand for what’s right,’ the staffer continued.
‘If I have to work bagging groceries at Trader Joe’s, I’ll do it. If [Guiducci] puts Melania on the cover, half of the editorial staff will walk out, I guarantee it.’
‘It sickens me,’ the staffer added. ‘Even the idea of it.’ – Daily Mail
Did you laugh out loud reading that nonsense? I sure did. And I wish they would quit. They’d make fashion magazines great again just by walking out the door. Please, storm off dramatically and don’t forget to grab your liberal tear-soaked hanky on the way out.
The truth? These tantrums are performance art. It’s theater for X likes and applause emojis. At the end of the day, the same staffers whining about moral objections will still be sitting at their desks, cashing checks, and hoping someone notices them at the office happy hour.
Lefty toddlers at Vanity Fair throw tantrum over putting supermodel FLOTUS on cover. Trump will probably take over the magazine now. pic.twitter.com/JFSCdLhRK0
— Tom Bevan (@TomBevanRCP) August 26, 2025
Melania Trump is the definition of a Vanity Fair cover star. She’s brilliant, fiercely independent, and multilingual. Add to that her elegance, her successful modeling career, and her status as one of the most fashionable First Ladies in American history, and you have a woman who defines what a true cover star should be. Her White House style made headlines worldwide, and she carries herself with a grace that most celebrities couldn’t fake with a full glam squad.
There certainly is plenty to write about, too. It’s not just about the cover. If Melania Trump graces the cover, it would be a fantastic article. Remember when critics sneered that she’d be a part-time First Lady? They were dead wrong. She’s been active and deliberate, whether it’s leading a new campaign to help schools embrace AI technology for the next generation or taking the bold step of writing a heartfelt letter to Vladimir Putin, urging him to put children first. Far from the aloof figure her detractors tried to paint, Melania has proven she’s engaged, thoughtful, and unafraid to step onto the world stage with both elegance and purpose.
The bigger story is that media outlets are starting to realize there’s a hungry audience outside their Manhattan echo chamber. Variety recently put Greg Gutfeld, yes, a conservative late-night host who trounces the competition in ratings, on its cover. And guess what? The world didn’t end. The issue sold, people read it, and the sky didn’t fall.
Meanwhile, Vanity Fair staffers are acting like the mere thought of Melania Trump on their glossy pages is a crime against humanity. If Variety can survive putting Gutfeld on the cover, surely Vanity Fair can handle a little glamour in the form of Melania.
Readers aren’t stupid. They know Melania belongs in the same lineage as Jackie Kennedy or Princess Diana when it comes to elegance and mystique. That is what sells magazines, not the petty vendettas of staffers who mistake their politics for editorial judgment. A glossy Melania cover would fly off the shelves, and Condé Nast knows it. It is past time to let sales, not tantrums, call the shots and to remind a few entitled punks that their employer, not their fragile feelings, decides who makes the cover.
Vanity Fair has to decide: will it cater to the latte-fueled crybabies in the newsroom, or will it publish a cover that its readers actually want? If it chooses the former, it is just another elitist magazine preaching to its own choir. If it chooses the latter, it might just remind the world why Vanity Fair used to matter.
Song for Vanity Fair employees: pic.twitter.com/AGtzeE6l81
— Marla Hohner (@marlahohner) August 26, 2025
So go ahead, staffers. Stomp your feet, slam your laptops shut, and declare that Melania Trump on the cover is too much to bear. The rest of us will be laughing, because we know you’re not quitting. You’ll still be sitting at your fancy desks, sipping your nine-dollar cold brew, and rage-scrolling while Melania Trump looks effortlessly flawless on the front of your own magazine.
Vanity Fair was built on glamour, style, and influence, and Melania Trump embodies all three with more elegance than anyone they have featured in years. When that issue finally lands on shelves, I’ll be first in line to grab my copy.
Feature Image: First Lady Melania Trump on the Colonnade/Flickr/Trump White House archives/public domain/cropped and color boosted in Canva Pro
Lewis says: I highly doubt they could even get a job at Trader Joe’s! They’re not exactly customer oriented as Trader Joe’s definitely is! Good luck, faux journalists, sit tight with your mouth taped shut for your paycheck, or ask mom and dad to move their office back out of your room!
Carol Marks says: thank you for reading and commenting.
Tim says: The only time I had an employee give me an ultimatum he had his final paycheck and was escorted out the door before close of business. It didn’t happen again. These children need to learn that the sun doesn’t shine out of their arses and that there are lots of hungry and well qualified people who would love to take their jobs. As someone once said, the graveyards are full of indispensable men.
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