By now y’all have heard that Hillary Clinton was at OzyFest in Central Park yesterday slamming President Donald Trump for meeting alone with the evil, murderous, Communist President Vladimir Putin. If not, you can read all about it here. The former Secretary State showed up in her nightgown and slip on dog walking sneakers. There is only one excuse: Hillary Clinton has been kicked up the arse and she is still stupefied.

I should explain. There was a Britcom that my family loved called “Father Ted”. Father Ted was an Irish Catholic Priest. He lived on Craggy Island with two other priests, the alcoholic Jack Hackett and childlike Dougal McGuire. The bane of his existence is Bishop Brennan. Father Ted loses a bet to another priest and his penalty is he must kick Bishop Brennan up the arse. The name of the episode is “Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse”.

The priests lure Bishop Brennan to Craggy Island by telling him that his likeness has miraculously appeared on the baseboard of an upstairs bedroom of the parochial house. They draw a cartoon figure of the Bishop on the baseboard and when he bends over to see it, Father Ted kicks him up the arse. Father Dougal is waiting outside the window on a ladder to photograph the epic event.

Bishop Brennan does not believe he has been kicked up the arse. Bishop Brennan is stupefied. He walks through the rest of the episode almost catatonic. He is such a fearsome being, so well respected that no one would dare touch his person. It is physically impossible that the deplorable loser Father Ted touched him, let alone kicked him up the arse.

So, Hillary Clinton is Bishop Brennan and untouchable. She was going to win the White House. She was going to be President of the United States of America. Her due. Her destiny. Sister Frigidaire was fearsome. Then The Deplorables drew a miraculous picture of the White House on the baseboard and told Hillary she had to see it. On election night, when Hillary Clinton bent over, we, The Deplorables, kicked her up the arse. She has been stupefied ever since. Watch this clip from “Father Ted”. Please put down your drinks and go to the potty first.

Yes. We kicked Hillary Clinton up the arse. We really went for it too. There is no other explanation for how stupefied she has been ever since that day. Now, I need more sparkling wine.

By the way, you can watch the whole “Father Ted” episode here.