Duke University is considered a “Top Tier” university. A diploma from Duke could write a graduate’s ticket to a plethora of opportunity with just a twitch of the nose.

We do know college campuses, to some degree, have become safe havens for “lifelong learners” of useless information. I know, some would beg to differ. These young prodigies learn to be a “more rounded” individual with college courses like, “Getting Dressed” from Princeton, “How to Watch Television” from Montclair State, and “Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse” from Michigan State. The latest course offering from Duke stands to be one of the best yet.

The course is titled “Radical Magic”, and it is part of Duke’s Writing program. Description can be found here:

Currently, patches, t-shirts, and pins pepper Etsy with statements
like “Hex the Patriarchy” and “‘We Are the Granddaughters of the Witches You Could Not
Burn.’” Books and think-pieces have been published about this current phenomenon by popular
tarot readers, astrologists, and witches, all of whom address the feminist, queer, activist potential of these practices. Most recently, performing powerhouse Taylor Swift has been accused of witchcraft on stage during her record-breaking concert, “Eras,” and Swifties are experiencing a realpsychological condition known as “post-concert amnesia.”-Duke.edu

I knew it! Taylor Swift is a witch! After all, Karma is a god. Moving on:

We will begin with the Salem Witch Trials, traverse the 19th-century spiritualist and occultist movements, pivot to witches and second-wave Feminism in the 1960’s and 70’s, spend some time in the grungy 90’s, and end with witchcraft in our current moment. We will explore the feminist and queer communities who have gravitated towards spells, incantations, and Tarot decks to provide a greater insight into a dominant world that was not made for them. We will examine the literary qualities of Tarot, spells, and incantations, and question the distinction between writing and magic. Is there really a difference between a poem and an incantation? Can the lyrics of a rock song be a hex?”-Duke.edu

Rock song lyrics, eh? Man! I almost want to be in attendance of the class where the professor pulls out the record player and plays the full A-side of Motley Crue’s “Shout At The Devil” album backwards.

Some of the required assignments for this particular course offering include: weekly blog posts, a digital archival research project, literature review and a Grimoire (AKA a Spell Book”).

Double, double, toil and trouble. The “womyn” feminists and queer communities are going to put a spell on all raaaacist, bigoted, right-thinking, people of the land! The Resistance is real, y’all! Hold onto your hats, there is a spell a-coming from North Carolina! More on the grimoire assignment:

This non-traditional assignment challenges the distinctions we often put between writing, crafting, art, and magic, and it will provide a space to try new things. Your grimoire will likely be playful, at times somber, but ultimately the tenor of your book will be defined by what excites you.”-Duke.edu

https://twitter.com/uss_bolivar/status/1804246075026309357?s=61&t=zQpDurtoPzs2YCLZGE2Erg

(Insert snort here.) It’s doubtful. I wonder if any of the Harry Potter books are banned from this class.

Their struggle is our struggle. Oh, dear. I, for one, would love to see some of these “spell books” from the “marginalized, struggling” students of Duke University who have the ultimate luxury of majoring in Creative Writing and drafting up “spell books” at almost $100,000 a year in tuition and fees.

Full disclosure, I was one of these girls back in my college days in the gritty and grungy 90s. I ran in poetry circles and was madly obsessed with the guy getting his Masters in philosophy. I consulted the Tarot for relationship advice. I played the victim and hoped for some magical force, like the government, to take away the staggering bills that would eventually crash down on me after completing my BA. In hindsight, I was so out-of-touch with reality, as these young (and some middle-aged, full-time college students) are.

I can certainly think of some magic spells that would be useful in a book of spells. A spell that would give some of these wack-jobs who have become hypnotized and repeat the irrational logic fed to them by some of their government officials, their elementary school teachers and these very university professors and actual, thinking BRAIN. Or, for instance, making Joe Biden and Kamala Harris disappear but those spells are about as likely as sprinkling pool water on Lia Thomas to give HIM a female’s body and parts to match (Karma is a god, Lia). Or concocting a potion of pickles and ice cream that would impregnante Dylan Mulvaney.

I’m sure, after writing this, my name may surface in a Duke spell book. What most who believe in witchcraft and the occult do not understand is that there is a Force far more powerful than magic spells. There is Truth, there is reality. And, eventually, reality comes crashing down and no Tarot reading, abracadabra, or amount of burning sage can prevent it.

And, salagadoola menchicka boola, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, Duke University just became an irrelevant joke.

Photo Credit: Matt Phillips from Brooklyn, NY, USA, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons/Cropped