While President Xi and Putin become thick as thieves, Joe Biden is cracking jokes in the East Room of the White House.

Yesterday’s event was one of the backlogged events to be hosted since the end of the COVID-19 pandemic. The 2021 National Humanities Medal and National Medal of Arts marked the first time Biden hosted the awards ceremony since taking office. And, he was full of beans…or something. Grab the Depends. This speech may cause some leakage.

Welcome to the White House — a sacred place for many reasons. It’s a residence for the First Family, but it’s really the People’s House — and it really is. A place to work, a national park, a museum, as well as an — art and artifacts capturing the soul of our nation for many years.”-Joe Biden

To eat pudding cups, to watch Matlock. It’s a park, a museum, a three-ring circus. Go on, Joe:

This past — this — and like this portrait of George Washington painted by Gilbert Stuart, it’s the only object still here since the White House was opened in 1800. That’s the only object still here. “-Joe Biden

Because the Clintons tried to steal some stuff and Barack shoved ol’ Winston’s bust in a drawer? Okay, Boomer. Seriously, this speech was target-rich. Biden blathers on:

Freedoms that must always be defended for democracy is a covenant — a covenant we have with each other. And I don’t know how many times in graduate school and undergraduate school I learned that democracy has to be fought for for every generation.”-Joe Biden

Graduate school? Was that where you ranked 76th out of a class of 85 and plagiarized the hell out of everything, Joey?

C’mon, man!

Democracy is a choice. It’s a choice we make to choose union over disunion, progress over chaos, and literally truth over lies; a choice to remember history, not erase it, no matter how hard it is that people try to sometimes erase it.”-Joe Biden

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the biggest lying, dog-faced pony soldier of ’em all?

And that’s what great nations do: They face reality. We’re a nation — a great nation in large part because of the power of the arts and humanities that’s stamped into the DNA of America.”-Joe Biden

The reality of more than two genders, Joe? The DNA of America? You really want to talk DNA right now? Because if ya do, I don’t know if you’re going to like what some people have to say.

Biden went on to name of the honorees. Mindy Kaling (thank goodness, no 7-11 or Dunkin’ Donuts jokes from Joe). Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Gladys Knight. Designer Vera Wang. Songwriter, Jose Feliciano and, Bruce Springsteen:

Yep. The guy who told a foreign crowd that he was embarrassed to be an American gets an award for being a contributor to the “American songbook”. A poet, a troubadour.

You can have Springsteen. He sounds like a constipated orangutan

— HoracePoindexter (@HoracePoindex11) March 21, 2023

Agreed.

And, there was more stuff that did not make sense coming out of Joe Biden’s piehole:

The good news is that this anecdote made sense in his mind https://t.co/wewxbuGdDR

— Tom Elliott (@tomselliott) March 21, 2023

Huh? Seriously. New Jersey doesn’t want “The Boss”. I doubt Delaware wants him, either. And, speaking of Jersey, Joe Biden gave a shout-out to his wife, “Dr. Jill”, the “English Professor”, who was born in Jersey…though Biden said a few weeks ago she was “a true Philly girl“. (She was actually born in New Jersey).

The ceremony drones on. The next award goes to Joan Shi- — Shi- —

Shigekawa, JOE! Dear, Lord. Talk about an idiot who forgot history but wants us to persevere and remember it. Ms. Shigekawa turned six years old while in captivity in a Japanese internment camp.

Then, Joe waxes poetic:

And always one moon like a silent drum tapping [at] every rooftop and every window” on every — in — of every county — country. Excu- — let me start this over again…

And always one moon like a silent drum tapping on every rooftop and every window, of one country — county — county — all of us facing the stars; hope—a new constellation waiting for us to map it, waiting for us to name it—together.”-Joe Biden

Facing stars…staring up at the sky…seeing Chinese balloons…Russian jets shooting down our drones…

And speaking again of our friend Xi Jinping:

You know, that’s what we — you know, hope is a — I was once asked by Xi Jinping to define America, for real. We were in a Tibetan Plateau. I said, ‘Possibilities. Hope. That’s the definition of America.’”-Joe Biden

Hope is a–thing? What thing? You know the thing. Possibilities? Hope? Perhaps we’d have better luck in 2024.

Photo Credit: Original Artwork by VG Darleen Click