All men hate women and will beat and rape them whenever they can, or something

All men hate women and will beat and rape them whenever they can, or something

This was the point made in a post I came across on Feministing. The author talks about how she lives in opposition to “the patriarchy”, which exists in apparently all men, who all want women to be servile and deep down just love the thought of beating up and/or raping women.

Often in my work (I do prevention education for a large midwestern domestic violence and sexual assault organization), I get asked if “it” has ever happened to me. Of course, there is the standard answer: the numbers tell us we all know someone who has been sexually or physically assaulted. The standard answer redirects the question to community responsibility rather than on my survivorship or victimhood, which is the right path for prevention work. It also removes my vulnerability as an educator and reaffirms my status as an “expert” on violence against women-rather than just an expert on my own experience.

But the real and honest answer is yes. But it isn’t yes because I had a girlfriend who was scary, emotionally abusive and controlling in my early twenties. And it isn’t yes because I was sexually assaulted when I was 16 and again when I was 21. Those things are true, and they did shape me as a person, as an activist and as a feminist/womanist. But they aren’t the reason the answer is yes.

So if those aren’t the reasons why the answer is yes, then what is? Frankly, I am a woman. I have lived my entire life in opposition to the patriarchy. Certainly, as an adult this has been more an act of consciousness than as a child. To be raised as a girl, and grow into a woman, is always in opposition to the patriarchy. I am not special in this regard.

… Anyway, back to living in opposition. I know that when I spilled coffee in the kitchen when I was 8 or 9, and my dad-who had just barked the order, “COFFEE” at me-told me I would make a terrible waitress, and my response was “I don’t plan on being a waitress”, that I was living in opposition to the patriarchy. No, I don’t and didn’t think there is anything wrong with being a waitress-my mom did it for years, and for a long time, it was one of the only careers available to women. But I did realize, even then, that I wasn’t going to be what men wanted me to be (no woman ever really is, you know?). My dad was a man that expected his children and wife to be servile. And that’s what my dad meant by waitress: not server but servicer.

I also know that when I affirmed for myself that I wanted to partner with women, I was taking a risk and AGAIN living in opposition to the patriarchy. How dare I not be sexually available to men! How dare I not become a man’s wife!

I am also fat, and fat-loving. This, again, is not something a man wants me to be. I take up space. I don’t apologize for my size. The diet and fashion industries, largely run by men, want women to disappear (size double zero???). I refuse. I actively resist the push for me to get smaller and be quieter.

I am also masculine, and a woman. I am not transgendered, I use female pronouns and I use my girly first name. This, I think, is the biggest of the unspoken affront to the patriarchy. This is, also, the only aspect of my identity that regularly makes me afraid. I am afraid to use public restrooms-which I have to confront as my daughter is potty-learning right now. I am not afraid to be there, I am afraid of what might happen to me when someone realizes what I am. Just this week, I followed two women into the “ladies” room, and one of them did a double take at me, then went and looked outside at the pictogram on the door. As she did that, I said, “I am a woman and I am in the right bathroom.” She of course got all kinds of embarrassed and apologetic, from which I turned away. I try to tell myself her embarrassment is not my responsibility, but my fear is about what she does with her feelings. Does she go tell her male partner about me and he takes it upon himself to correct what is wrong with me? Sometimes, I think I am being paranoid. But then another transperson is killed, and I get reminded that maybe I am not paranoid. Like I said, I am not transgendered, but my gender is certainly transgressive. And rigid gender ideas are the props of the patriarchy. If we start to push the boundaries of gender, we push at the foundation of patriarchal power. I do that, everyday, with my man panties and my men’s deodorant (as if deodorant or underwear have a gender).

But ultimately, what I do that is in opposition to the patriarchy is live, and breathe and be. Men don’t like women (there I go with that reductionist shit again). In fact, men beat, rape and control women. In some places, women’s presence outside of the home is considered obscene. In other places, the qualities that women are encouraged to have (empathy, for example) are looked at with disdain and even contempt (Michael Steele, I am looking at you!).

I know that my very existence, even if I worked at the zoo, is in opposition to the patriarchy. I might not have to defend using gendered language, but I would still be afraid of what might happen when I use the bathroom. I would still not be a man’s servicer. I’d still get pegged as a humorless, strident man-hater. I’d still get called a bitch, a dyke, a whore and a cunt. I would still fear for my sexual safety. And even so, I would still get up every day, put on my man panties and go out into the world. That audacity is how I live my life in opposition to the patriarchy, just like every woman does.

This woman is seriously delusional if she thinks that someone is going to hunt her down and kill her just for looking butch and using the women’s restroom.

Anyway, I read this and just want to scream at this girl to grow up and get over her damn self. I don’t say this often when talking about feminists, but there is so much arrogance and narcissism when it comes to their views. For example, she just assumes that her manly appearance will cause another woman to go tell her boyfriend about her and then that boyfriend will come and kill her (or something similar that makes no sense whatsoever). Of course, this would require the other woman to not forget about their encounter in the ladies’ room, which I’m sure she did as soon as the narcissistic feminist left. The feminist just assumes that their encounter was so life-shaking that the other woman was thinking about her all day and would actually tell other people about it.

She again thinks that she’s just so important, that men would care that she wasn’t making herself sexually available to them by becoming a lesbian. Again, GET OVER YOURSELF. I doubt there’s a single man alive, save from maybe your father, who gives a damn.

And since when are men responsible for the super-skinny craze going around Hollywood and the fashion industry? I’m pretty sure it’s mostly women running magazines like Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Elle, Redbook, etc. What men want is actually to the contrary of what she says. Most men despise the skin-and-bones heroine chic that permeates the culture today. Men usually like women with a little meat on their bones, but why let that get in the way of her prejudices?

What is most insulting about this woman’s anti-male, paranoia-filled, narcissistic screed, however, is this excerpt right here:

Men don’t like women (there I go with that reductionist shit again). In fact, men beat, rape and control women.

Not some men. Not a few men. Just men. Men don’t like women. Men beat women. Men rape women. Men control women. All men, everywhere, and the ones who don’t do it wish they could. Yes, there are some violent men who abuse and beat and rape women. No one condones that behavior. But it is not all men or even most men, yet that doesn’t keep this bitch from painting all men with a very broad brush. What she, along with most modern/radical feminists, is doing is inflammatory and harmful and dangerous and wrong. There are so many good men, honest men, loving men, chivalrous men… and they do not deserve to get slandered by some stupid narcissistic paranoid feminist bitch. I know many, many men who are undoubtedly much better people than she is. And she parades around as if she is some kind of martyr and gender warrior, fighting some imaginary ideological battle, and is able to imagine this simply by the virtue of having a vagina.

How would she, I wonder, react if someone wrote a post saying similar things about women? How would she react if someone wrote a post expressing such hatred and suspicion and wariness towards women, just because they were women? I’m sure she, along with her other over-offended feminist friends, would be screaming SEXIST!! at the top of their lungs. Feminists constantly say that no one should be judged based on their gender, but they don’t mean it. What they mean is that women shouldn’t be judged for being women, but men can and should be judged for being men. Feminism is full of hypocrisy and hatred, and this post shows it perfectly.

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33 Comments
  • DrEvil says:

    If this woman is so opposed to and thinks so little of men why does she act like one and make herself appear like one? She sounds confused, narcissistic and just plain stoopid.

    Have an Evil day

  • Karol says:

    She would be so stunned to find out “the patriarchy” never gives her 5 seconds of thought, let alone consider how they’d like her to be.

  • Justin says:

    I was going to tell that paranoid, narcissistic bimbo exactly how little I care.

    But signing up for the site would require far more effort than it is worth.

  • Evil Monk says:

    Someone that is that frightened by everyday occurances of life is a person worthy of pity and prayer.

    Someone needs to give her a hug and tell her its going to be alright.

    Sad…

  • Jarrod says:

    Well I know I beat, control, and rape at least one woman every day…before lunch if at all possible. I just hate having that hanging over my head on the To Do list for the rest of the afternoon.

    I mean, come on, I’m a busy guy and this patriarchy ain’t gonna run itself. I gotta start me some wars and print up some magazines and stuff.
    —————————————

    All kidding aside, that was one convoluted, messed up post. Are you sure it’s not a dude writing that?

    “I am also masculine, and a woman. I am not transgendered, I use female pronouns and I use my girly first name. This, I think, is the biggest of the unspoken affront to the patriarchy.”

    That makes me think it’s a dude; that and the bathroom thing. Also, as a member of the patriarchy, I guess…I don’t care what freaks do.

  • mj says:

    I, for one, applaud her brave choice to live as a woman. Imagine what the world would be like today if more women lived like women. “I don’t plan on being a waitress!” Way to defeat the long history of paternalistic oppression, sister…

    Feminist novelist Marilyn French, author of “The Women’s Room,” put it, “All men are rapists, and that’s all they are. They rape us with their eyes, their laws and their codes.” She also wrote “Anyone determined to find another person or group inferior can always find whole lists of grounds that demonstrate inferiority because we are all inferior to the ideals of humanness we have erected.” But I guess that wasn’t too important.

    I should get ready for work. I need to go out and oppress others.

  • Andy says:

    Another feminazi complaining about men “Patriarchy” who completely misses the point. If a woman wants to complain about rape and violence against women, she should go after a culture of fatherlessness. The mostly likely rapists and women beaters are men who grew up without a dads. Instead she puts down fatherhood and traditional masculinity, which just leads to irresponsible boys who never want to grow up and commit to thier families and more single mother homes.

  • Bobv says:

    She sounds like shes somehow depriving us men of something by not being “sexually available to men”. Then goes on to describe herself as fat and masculine. I’m guessing that the “patriarchy” was not sexually available to her first, before she decided to deny us the “pleasure” of her company.

    How many cliches can she hit by the way? A fat ugly girl gets rejected by men, goes on to be a fat ugly, man hating lesbian/feminist.

  • Bobv says:

    Also, she complains about the patriarchy and a culture that fosters and encourages rape.

    But do you think for a second she’d ever consider really taking arab/muslim culture to task for their treatment of women?

  • Sammi says:

    As Mr. Jennings put it; there’s few things in life finer than a firm feeling woman. It’s not men advocating size double zero.

  • Average Joe says:

    What this person is really screaming is self loathing. She hates men, yet does everything she can, short of surgery to BE a man. She loathes everything about her own gender because in the deepest recesses of her mind the feels that it makes her weak and vulnerable. So she has “manned up” in order to feel safe. Yet it’s obvious that her paranoia overwhelms even that. She’s forced herself into such a deep corner through her “gender-identity against biology” conflict that the only logical result is extreme rage. Instead of recognizing this and doing the work it would take to fix herself as a person, she instead projects that rage onto the very thing she hates, and simultaneously wishes to be – male.

  • CaptDMO says:

    What are the names of the author’s pets?

  • CaptDMO says:

    I know that my very existence, even if I worked at the zoo, is in opposition to the patriarchy. I might not have to defend using gendered language, but I would still be afraid of what might happen when I use the bathroom. I would still not be a man’s servicer. I’d still get pegged as a humorless, strident man-hater. I’d still get called a bitch, a dyke, a whore and a cunt.

    Wow, I wouldnt’t use “whore” concerning folks that construct their essence to bring their own psyco-misery to as many others as possible.

  • Stick says:

    “Well I know I beat, control, and rape at least one woman every day…before lunch if at all possible. I just hate having that hanging over my head on the To Do list for the rest of the afternoon.”

    Wait wait wait! Did you forget to kill a hooker? You know, every time you forget to do your duty to the patriarchy by keeping the population of whores down you risk it getting out of control! Next thing you know prostitution will be legal and we will be up to our necks in call girls!

    j/k

  • ChrisW says:

    The super-skinny craze is probably based on the fact that absolutely gorgeous women are paid oodles of money to look gorgeous in clothes designed by homosexual men.

  • Mikey NTH says:

    And since when are men responsible for the super-skinny craze going around Hollywood and the fashion industry?

    The fashion industry is not known to be a haven for heterosexual men, if you get my drift.

  • MadKalnod says:

    Bob is exactly right. It’s incredibly rare to find a man in North America who believes that women are disposable property, created by God solely to be vending machines for orgasms and male heirs. It’s even more incredibly rare to find a man in Saudi Arabia who doesn’t believe that. Funny that she chooses to rail against the people who aren’t raping and murdering their 9-year-old daughters for the unforgivable offense of refusing to get betrothed to their 30-year-old cousins from Islamabad.

    It’s just like Morgan K. Freeberg at House of Eratosthenes says, she desperately wants to let the world see what a brave, daring rebel she is, but seems curiously uninterested in rebelling against anything that might have genuinely unpleasant consequences.

  • WayneB says:

    “I know many, many men who are undoubtedly much better people than she is. And she parades around as if she is some kind of martyr and gender warrior, fighting some imaginary ideological battle, and is able to imagine this simply by the virtue of having a vagina.”
    So, you’re saying that Dona Juanita there is Tilting at Penises?

  • MuscleDaddy says:

    I’m suddenly reminded of a feminist-protest that got some air time on the local TV news…

    The camera (live) swung around just in time to catch a nasty, sweating, five-foot-cubed woman with dark, greasy hair, fise-eye-glasses and a face made-for-radio – waving a sign & bellowing “Stop Raping Us!!”

    Ugh.

    – MuscleDaddy

  • Jay says:

    Yes, as a man I live in constant terror at the thought that there might be women out there wearing men’s underwear and using men’s deoderant. If this practice were to spread from the present .01% of women to .1% of women, my present lifestyle would surely be totally devasted.

    Does someone who, by her own description, is overweight, looks and dresses like a man, and is clearly very hostile toward men in general, really have to worry about improper sexual advances? I would think that would be the least of her worries.

    “Sometimes, I think I am being paranoid.” Recognizing your mental illness is the first step to getting help.

  • Jay says:

    A serious side note.

    I often hear women — usually extreme feminists but not always — say that rapists are motivated by hatred of women, and that rape is something they do to assert power over women or to humiliate women, etc.

    I wonder if anyone has ever asked actual rapists about this. I’ve never come anywhere near committing a rape, but that’s not what I would guess the motivation of a rapist to be.

    I’ve never robbed a bank, but if someone told me that bank robbers are motivated by hatred of materialism and a desire to destroy the capitalist, luxury-loving economy, I’d really doubt it. I strongly suspect that bank robbers are motivated by a desire to have more money and enjoy the benefits of capitalism. They are unable to achieve this goal by legitimate means, so they turn to robbery. Similarly, I’ve never killed anyone, but I’ve been angry at people, sometimes angry enough to want to punch them, and I can imagine that if you multiplied that ten or a hundred times it might lead to murder. So I’ve never raped anyone, but I’d guess that rapists are motivated by a desire for sex that they have been unable to fulfill legitimately, and so turn to rape.

    I have no evidence to back up that theory, but I wonder if there is any real evidence either way.

  • Joel says:

    This woman is nuts beyond anything. I am a man and I am proud of my soon to be wife. She just graduated college in nursing. I don’t want to beat her or rape her or anything else. I love her with all my heart and want to show her that. To think that all men are like this is so bogus i would love to know what world she lives in I would give my life for my fiance

  • Son of Bob says:

    Yet another well-adjusted homosexual enlightening us to how some tragic life events caused their phobias and perversions which now dominate every waking moment of her life.

    And, despite her many clearly evident psychological problems, she was apparently hired to teach “prevention education for a large midwestern domestic violence and sexual assault organization”? One can only imagine the sick slant and agenda in the “education” she passes on to these folks.

  • Smorfia48 says:

    “I’d still get pegged as a humorless, strident man-hater.”
    That’s awful. Can’t a womyn go around saying that all men are abusive rapists who want to oppress women without people unreasonably presuming she’s a humorless strident man-hater?

    “I would still fear for my sexual safety.”
    If this article has given an accurate picture of your personality and appearance, I wouldn’t worry too much.

    “And even so, I would still get up every day, put on my man panties and go out into the world. That audacity is how I live my life in opposition to the patriarchy, just like every woman does.”
    You go, sistyr! The best way to fight oppressive regimes that are figments of your paranoia is to engage in numerous completely pointless and trivial acts of resistance that nobody will notice or give a damn about if they did.

  • oldguy says:

    Ladies, Islam is coming to your neighborhood so you will soon have something to really complain about. If you don’t believe this read about what is happening to females in Scandinavia.

  • Christopher says:

    After laughing at the comments it got even better. Clicked on the link to Feministing and there’s a Verizon ad saying “How can a COW help you with wireless service?” It doesn’t get much funnier than that.

  • Natasha says:

    Heh… The only way anyone would call that feminazi freak a whore is when they call her, rightfully, a pathetic whiny attention-whore. Because that is all she is. Seen enough of them on campus, unkempt, dirty, belligerent hags with delusions of importance.

  • Natasha says:

    BTW, Cas, cool blog! I saw a link to it on Conservative Grapevine and the headline to this entry caught my attention. Thanks!

  • ZIMMY says:

    Since she judges ‘all men’ in her comments then she should not use anything invented or created by men; you know, cars,highrises,bridges, computers, well, virtually everything this woman uses in life was created and put together by men. The patriarchy is truly evil.

  • Dan Kauffman says:

    “I am afraid to use public restrooms-which I have to confront as my daughter is potty-learning right now.”

    How did that happen, I wonder? Must have been artificial insemenation?

    Because she would never stoop to being a man’s servicer.

  • Bitch says:

    Sorry, but any woman who is even moderately attractive with tits bigger than a b-cup knows that all men are, at heart, nothing but disgusting, slobbering, predatory rape-machines. Any woman who doesn’t see this side of men just isn’t pretty enough for them to prey on, that’s why YOU don’t have a clue how men REALLY are.

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