The Obama campaign is all kinds of gung-ho about the debate Friday. They really, really want people to tune in. Why, I don’t know. If, uh, you know, I, um, were, well, uh, you know, uh, Senator — hold, hold, hold on a second — um, you know, Senator Obama, I, uh, you know, um, wouldn’t, uh, um, uh, want to be, uh, debilitating, I mean, debating, uh, you know, um, Senator McCain, uh, um, uh, on, uh, national Univision — damn it!! — national television, that’s it!, uh, you know, without, um, a, uh, teleprompter, uh, that, um, you know, he could, uh, read his, you know, um, prepared, uh, lines off of.

But, apparently they still want everyone to watch. They must be pretty anxious about it, judging by the two e-mails they sent Michelle Malkin urging her not only to watch the debate, but to host debate watch parties. And, miracle of miracles, Michelle Obama is telling us that Barack is finally going to tell us what his plans are!

Transcript:

Hi everyone, this is Michelle Obama. The first presidential debate is coming up on Friday, the 26th. It’s gonna focus on foreign policy. The candidates will debate their different views on how to keep America safe, strengthen our relationships with our allies, and restore our role in the world. Many Americans still don’t know much about Barack or his plan to bring the change we need. They don’t know about his timeline to bring troops home from Iraq responsibly, or his plans to rebuild our military and to achieve energy independence so that we can end our reliance on foreign oil once and for all. And they don’t know his plan to restore the middle class, to cut taxes for 95% of American families, to provide healthcare for every American, and to improve our schools. They also don’t know that John McCain shares many of George Bush’s views. In fact, he’s voted with George Bush more than 90% of the time, including not investigating the government response to Katrina, not supporting college benefits for returning veterans, and passing tax cuts for the rich at the expense of the middle class. So, this debate is a great opportunity to introduce Barack to your friends, family, and neighbors. That’s why all across the country, people are coming together for debate watch parties. A debate watch party is a great opportunity to get together with other people who support Barack, and to reach out to folks who are undecided. That’s what this movement’s all about: people coming together to talk about the issues that matter to them. So, I hope you’ll host a debate watch party in your home, or attend one in your community. Visit this website to get more information: my-dot-barackobama-dot-com-slash-debate. You know, there are just a few weeks left ’til election day, so now more than ever, we need to come together. Thank you.

The “no one knows about Barack’s plans!” line was a little odd to me. Considering how vague and unspecific Obama has been throughout this entire campaign, you’d think they didn’t want to go there. And lies and mischaracterizations about John McCain aside, the plans she speaks of are just plain odd. I’m really, really curious how Barack Obama will manage to “rebuild” the military, “give” healthcare to EVERY American, “improve” schools, and “restore” the middle class — all without raising taxes. Either he believes in money fairies or Michelle is lying.

Oh, but wait! He’s finally going to get specific about his plans this Friday! He’s going to finally tell us exactly how he’s going to raise taxes, enforce socialism, make the standard model for “big government” seem like a libertarian’s dream, and ruin everything we’ve fought for in Iraq.

I’m so excited. I can’t wait to hear all these great plans Obama has. It’s going to be so awesome.

Hey, you guys laughing in the back — can it. He’s for real this time. I know he’s said he’s going to get specific for a long time, but this time, he means it.

I think.