The Obama administration has bucked many a rule since coming into being, including previously observed gifting protocol for foreign dignitaries by pulling amateur stunts like gifting the Queen of England an iPod preloaded with Barack’s greatest pontification hits. Now they are continuing to defy protocol (and common sense) as they nominate top donors for plum Foreign Service positions as ambassadors to nations like the United Kingdom , Iceland, Norway and Argentina. Some of these appointees’ answers to the Senate committee’s questions called to mind Miss Teen South Carolina’s brilliant reparte in 2007; you remember the one we all winced through as it was played over and over again?

Among these impressarios of foreign service protocol are Colleen Bell who is the wife of  soap opera producer Bradley Bell (who raised $800,000 for the President’s re-election), George Tsunis-a hotelier and multi-million dollar Obama bundler, and Noah Bryson Mamet who is the founder of a political consulting firm and is the most qualified-even though he has never been to the country where he would be ambassador.

With all that in mind I give you the top 5 ways to become an Obama administration ambassador to any nation:

5) Donate or bundle a ton of money and give it to the President’s re-election campaign – It seems that most of this administration’s ambassadors bought their titles since almost all of them donated or raised funds for Obama’s campaign in the 2012 cycle. Bell raised $800,000, Tsunis himself donated $843,225 and Mamet personally donated $96,800

4)  Never have travelled to the country you will serve as ambassador – It seems that many of the ambassadors put forth for the position have never been to the country they would serve. In this I agree wholehearedly with Senator John McCain (R), Arizona: “When you put someone in an ambassador’s position who hasn’t even been to the country, you are rolling the dice.”  I also find their lack of qualifications alarming as did the Senator from Arizona.

3) Know nothing about the political climate of the nation where you will serve as ambassador – It seems that the nominees showed an amazing lack of knowledge about their future destination’s political climates as well. One appointee characterized the center-right group, known as the Progress Party,  in Norway’s ruling coalition as “a discounted fringe”- oops.

2) Have no insight into the strategic interests of the nation you will serve – Colleen Bell, wife of “Bold and the Beautiful” producer, Brad Bell, evidently could not answer a question posed to her during her confirmation hearing about America’s strategic interests in Hungary where far-right lawmaker’s attitdudes about Jews and other minorities are spawning international concern.

1) Have absolutely, positively no experience in the foreign service whatsoever – While most Presidents observe a 70/30 rule when appointing ambassadors (70 percent of the appointments coming from within the ranks of the foreign service and 30 percent coming from political allies), Obama has bucked the system in his second term by appointing bundlers and big money donors 53% percent of the time.

Perhaps these hopeful diplomats should remember what happens to ambassadors when things deteriorate rapidly in their host nation and the Administration does not consider it politically expedient to extract the ambassador and their staff – after all “What difference, at this point, does it make?”- right Hillary?