Breaking news from the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: there is a tsunami warning for Buzzard Bay!

Residents are currently being evacuated from the Buzzard’s Bay area from Hyannis to Falmouth on Cape Cod. Aerial observation from Cape Cod Coast Guard Air Station reported that the tsunami was accidentally generated by the Commodore “Oldsmobile” Kennedy demonstrating his famous cannon-full-of-gin-ball dive into the lagoon of the Kennedy Compound in Hyannisport.

In other local news, package stores throughout the area, reported the mysterious disappearance of all hard liquor from their shelves, sometimes during the Friday overnight period.

More details here, and check back often, as I’m sure that the Emperor will make sure to keep you all up to date.