Page Six reported this morning that Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci is hoping to publish a new book about his time in politics. Shortest. Book. In. History.

If you are having a hard time remembering who the Mooch is, he’s that guy who became famous for having the shortest tenure as White House Communications Director EVAH! The Mooch’s 10-day stint as Comms Director was, however, remarkable in its drama and entertainment value. According to the Washington Post, there was only one day in the Mooch’s short-lived White House career when absolutely nothing happened, as he simply did his job.

Dude was a veritable cornucopia of entertaining blips and blurbs!

Now, the book is not a done deal, and the tabloid reports he’s merely “shopping it around” right now. It should be the shortest tome in history. Maybe a novelette… or a short story… or a blog post, even. But a full sized book? What could he possibly fill it with? A whole lot of creative invective? I mean, he pledged not to write a “tell-all” book, so what else could he possibly discuss?

So I decided to have a little fun with you guys today. Let’s come up with a few possible titles for the Mooch’s new book! Page Six came up with the snarky “I’m Not Trying to Suck My Own Cock” in honor of the Mooch’s most famous quote. That’s a witty title… if he’s writing for Penthouse Letters. I will admit to giggling, which just proves that a 12 year-old boy is, in fact, my spirit animal. But with the help of my wonderful co-bloggers, I’ve come up with a few more to get us started.

First, is one we all thought of at once, I think:

How to Lose a Job in 10 Days