Hillary’s Late Return to Debate Due To Refusal To Share A Bathroom

The queen has to use the potty in private. No matter how long it takes. And apparently, Hillary Clinton isn’t into sharing. Not even public bathrooms.

"Sorry.  I needed some "me" time."
“Sorry. I needed some “me” time.”
As the Boston Globe revealed, Hillary had to walk further to the bathroom than Sanders and O’Malley (and Grandma doesn’t go that fast any more, kids), and apparently, her lookout let her down.

What viewers didn’t know was the sole women’s bathroom was a little further than the men’s room from the stage. And when the debate went to a long commercial break Clinton lost out to Lis Smith, the caffeine-guzzling deputy campaign manager for former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley, who beat her to the restroom. Smith declined to comment for the story.

A top Clinton staffer who was strategically posted outside the bathroom (presumably to avoid these kinds of situations) gave Smith a verbal OK to make a quick pit stop, according to one person familiar with the ladies’ line.

Someone probably got fired after the debate for that. But… there were multiple stalls in the bathroom, right?

The women’s room included multiple stalls, so it’s not entirely clear why Clinton and Smith couldn’t both use the facilities. Clinton spokesman Nick Merrill declined to comment for the story, but said there wasn’t a security reason preventing the former secretary of state from sharing a bathroom.

Nevertheless, the hold up contributed to Clinton failing to make it back to the stage on time.

Now, I can understand a need for privacy. (I have a two year old. Privacy is a foreign concept, actually.) But… not using the bathroom until it was EMPTY? What could Hillary possibly be doing behind a closed stall door that needed an empty public bathroom? Speculation is welcome in the comments.

Regardless, Hillary is so convinced of her own self-importance that she was probably more annoyed than embarrassed that she was late. Next time, her staffers need to make sure that they have the super-extra-absorbent Depends on hand. Just in case.

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