Love and Marriage in the Current Culture

Love and Marriage in the Current Culture

Bloomberg.com has published an earth shattering (sarcasm) article with the title “Married Americans Are More Unhappy Than Ever”. I was shocked because “ever” is a doggone long time and happiness in marriage is a relatively new concept.

Take Jane Austin’s “Pride & Prejudice” for instance. Miss Charlotte Lucas delivers a classic 18th century view on marriage:

“happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance…It is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life”

And, these girls were daughters of the gentry. If you were poor, your chances of love and happiness in marriage were slim and none. His dad might have a piece of land or your dad might have a horse. The match is made. Are you or would you be happy in the marriage. Nobody knew or cared. And, you might die in childbirth or your husband might lose a limb plowing the land and your family goes from poor to starving. For real, players. Life sucked for everybody, male and female, before indoor plumbing.

My great grandmother’s marriage bond

When my great-grandmother married my great-grandfather, he was a 35 year old widower of about a year with a lot of children. She was 19 years old and still at home. They had a lot more children together. Big Mom died when I was sixteen and for many summers, I spent part of my summers at her house in Hazard, Kentucky. Was she happy with Big Dad, who died when I was about a year old. I have no idea. Nobody asked questions like, “Are you happy or were you happy in your marriage?”

Back to the Bloomberg article. Turns out that “ever” in the title refers to the 1970’s. The percentage of those who are happy in marriage has fallen from 68% to 60% in the last forty years.

the number of Americans who say they’re “very happy” in their marriages has fallen from 68 percent in the early 1970s to 60 percent. There are four types of people who tend to be happiest with the quality of their marriage: those who spend more time at religious centers, people with extreme political views (skewing to either spectrum), those who describe themselves as upper class—and men.

In other words, those who are spiritual, have a cause, have means or are men are happier. Well, butter my backside and call me a biscuit. I am shocked. No. I am not. Things haven’t changed that much. People are people and will always be thus. We do have indoor plumbing and controlled indoor climates and that is a lot.

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