Just in Time for Christmas Gifting: A Phallic Cross

Proving that being an elite member of the haute couture crowd doesn’t necessarily translate into possessing good taste, designer Tom Ford has produced what he has labeled a “penis pendant necklace” just in time for, er, stuffing into some lucky stiff’s (pun intended) stocking.

And yes, it takes on a form that is held in reverence by millions across the globe: a cross.

TFPND005D-GDC_GPB_OS_AThe, ahem, big one can be yours for a mere $790, also proving that just because one is flush with money doesn’t mean that person has good taste either. But in case your budget is a little less endowed, it is also available in small and medium.

The folks at Bustle, in a post which demonstrates their sophomoric proclivities, call it “. . .a steal when you factor in all the priceless reactions you’ll receive from conservative family members. . .” The feminists at Jezebel called it a “Crucifix-D**k,” demonstrating their ignorance about basic Christian symbols.

The Kansas City Star’s Lucy Gutierrez provided a less gleeful, more common sense Midwest point of view when she labeled it the “weirdest stocking stuffer of 2014,” concluding that she’ll “stick with fruitcake.” So will I, and I don’t even like fruitcake.

Somehow I don’t think this will be available at the Vatican Gift website, much less receive the approval of Pope Francis. And I don’t think either of my pastors will be receiving it, either.

I’m waiting breathlessly for the moment that Tom Ford designs a phallic Mohammed.

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