You knew it had to happen. After #LasVegas and Sutherland Springs, the usual suspects have introduced legislation to ban what they pant-shittingly (yes, I just made that up – don’t judge) refer to as “assault” weapons.

Frankly, I’m surprised it took them this long.

The “Assault Weapons Ban of 2017” introduced by none other than Dianne Feinstein (D-ouchebag, CA) and joined by the usual band of tyrannical swine, Richard Blumenthal (D-ickhead, CT), Chris Murphy (D-imwit, CT), Chuck Schumer (D-ildo, NY), Dick Durbin (D-ipshit, IL), Patty Murray (D-ullwitted, WA), Jack Reed (D-ense, RI), Tom Carper (D-ingbat, DE), Robert Menendez (D-erelict, NJ), Sheldon Whitehouse (D-ishonest, RI), Ben Cardin (D-erpy, MD), Amy Klobuchar (D-umberthanaboxofhammers, MN), Kirsten Gillibrand (D-uplicitous, NY), Al Franken (D-eranged, MN), Brian Schatz (D-readful, HI), Mazie Hirono (D-unce, HI), Elizabeth Warren (D-egenerate, MA), Ed Markey (D-isgraceful, MA), Cory Booker (D-ope, NJ), Kamala Harris (D-espicable, CA), Chris Van Hollen (D-emented, MD), Tammy Duckworth (D-aft, IL) and Bob Casey (D-unce, PA) seeks to:

• Ban the sale, manufacture, transfer and importation of 205 military-style assault weapons by name. Owners may keep existing weapons.

• Ban any assault weapon that accepts a detachable ammunition magazine and has one or more military characteristics including a pistol grip, a forward grip, a barrel shroud, a threaded barrel or a folding or telescoping stock. Owners may keep existing weapons.

• Ban magazines and other ammunition feeding devices that hold more than 10 rounds of ammunition, which allow shooters to quickly fire many rounds without needing to reload. Owners may keep existing magazines.