We are so back! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals. President Once and Again Donald Trump, the real estate mogul, has opened negotiations for regaining the Panama Canal and purchasing Greenland from Denmark. Huzzah! I am giddy. While the insane Left gnashes their teeth and tears at their clothes, the bureaucratic minds of our country tug at their forelocks and tsk-tsk over Trump’s crazy notions. Getting the Panama Canal back and getting the rights to Greenland is freaking genius from a strategic point of view that it’s criminal we haven’t done it before.