Yes, I said that. I said celebrate abortion.

I don’t care if the article starts with this sentimental tripe:

So your friend is about to have an abortion. Of course you want to be there for her, but you don’t know how. Look, making this decision is never simple, and having to make it as a teenager is more than a little terrifying. But it shouldn’t have to be so scary. The worst part of all this isn’t the procedure itself (which by the way is completely safe as long as you have access to a good clinic). The worst part is how you’re treated afterwards.

What follows is a gift guide which seems more like it came from the Girl Power Slumber Party from Hell. Check these out:

Of these items, Teen Vogue writes, “Technically they are made for your period, but that’s no reason not to rock em for post-abortion woes. . .” Because having your unborn baby killed is such a rockin’ time, isn’t it?

Here’s the “Angry Uterus Pillow.” Yeah, because every teen girl wants to have an angry uterus pillow atop her bed. And they come with mustaches for trans-women. Whatever.