This falls into the realm of “You can’t make this S*** Up!” DAESH/ISIS decided to embark on a major recruitment push with the help of their self-appointed ‘caliph’ Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi:

The group’s secretive leader released a rare 24-minute audio statement on December 26, urging believers to ‘urgently’ join the group.
He also called for an uprising in Saudi Arabia and pledged future attacks in Israel.

How effective will his recruiting be? Only ISIS knows for sure. Shall we ask them?

Sorry, no can do. They are a little busy dealing with the myriad of responses from enterprising Muslims who’d had enough of their shenanigans. Oh yes indeed, the responses are not only Saturday Night Live skit worthy; they in fact would win Emmy’s for the SouthPark antics that would ensue! Behold a few of the greatest hits thus far.

Priorities!!

Sorry mate, I don't want to risk dying before the next Star Wars comes out. https://t.co/vvnbXmsMfK

— Mohsin (@MohsinArain91) December 27, 2015

Stats please!

@iyad_elbaghdadi in this special occasion, is there any changes in virgin numbers?
72 is so old school.

— Yasser Almaamoun (@YAlmaamoun) December 28, 2015

Shades of Obamacare!

@iyad_elbaghdadi Sorry Amir al-Mushrikeen, I'm busy being a real Muslim, giving to charity etc. Also, your dental plan sucks. #GoatTeethISIS

— Jay Zadeh (@JayLikesIt) December 27, 2015