No, on campus, it’s not all bad news. It’s more like the Theater of the Absurd. Yesterday, I gave you some good news from our lauded university systems, which included the idea of using Caterpillar (D9s are favored) equipment to clean up the mess left behind by the little cherubs. We were glad the UNC Chapel Hill kids held up our Stars & Stripes. They will join with John Rich for a Raging Kegger. Mazel Tov! But, the kids trying to grab on to that glory are ridiculous. Funny, but ridiculous.

Just so you know, I am laughing so hard I can’t write. Let me get this story up, so I can stop laughing. The New York Post has the story:

It’s the charge of the trash brigade!

Anti-Israel protesters at Portland State University (PSU) burst from the campus library Thursday morning in a rag-tag phalanx of bicycle helmets and makeshift shields fashioned from trash bins during a crackdown by police.

But, despite their battle cries, they were quickly thwarted by waiting cops, according to footage captured by KGW8.

Some managed to scurry away and avoid arrest, footage appeared to show, while others were grabbed and slammed to the ground after attempting to ram through a line of cops.

The protesters — who would have left riders of the Light Brigade shaking their heads — had occupied PSU’s Brandford Miller Library since Monday, prompting the campus to close for three straight days. Police finally began breaching the library first thing Thursday morning.
Once inside cops found an arsenal of what appeared to be makeshift weapons and armor, including buckets of ball bearings, paint-filled balloons, and cups of dish soap alongside a note reading, “Throw down stairs if cops come up.”

The Charge of the Trash Brigade is funnier with the Benny Hill music:

The Benny Hill edit. Well done, @mamaswati

Original video from @JHolmsted pic.twitter.com/QBa5VlEPyo

— Tony Katz (@tonykatz) May 2, 2024

A Narrative Poem will never be written about The Charge of the Trash Brigade.

Let’s go to The South now. In Tuscaloosa on campus, the fraternity boys at the University of Alabama had a simple message for the Palestine Protestors: “Take a shower.”

Very few things are funny about what’s going on at these encampments across American universities but Alabama frat boys chanting "take a shower" at protestors was hilarious. pic.twitter.com/bQieZ50nX6

— Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) May 3, 2024

If it was a football Saturday in October, there would definitely be a ginormous grill involved here. Just saying. Go Vols. Third Saturday.

Now on the State University of New York, New Paltz specifically. This charming, young Jewish lady is a negotiator with the Palestine protestors who want Divestment from Israel:

They don’t want much from SUNY New Paltz. Here they present their demands to President Dr. Darrell Wheeler:

The president gave an overview of the negotiations between the administration and protesters following a Thursday afternoon meeting between the two sides.

The school’s top priorities, according to Wheeler are:

The removal of the tents.
De-escalation through open dialogue.
Resolution with no injuries, no property loss, and no arrests.
“We aim to protect the academic calendar and ensure that end-of-year celebrations like Spring Fest and Commencement can proceed safely for all participants.
The demonstrators, according to Wheeler, have demanded the following:

The disclosure of all donations, investments, contracts, and financial dealings with private companies.
The termination of contracts and relationships with companies determined by the protesters.
Amnesty from all sanctions placed on students who have participated in the demonstration.
Regarding the amnesty demand, President Wheeler says that he delegated members of the school’s team to offer amnesty to the group on Thursday in exchange for the dissolution of the encampment by 7 p.m. on May 2. “The presence of tents on campus grounds defies that prerequisite of mutual respect and violates policies that I must uphold. The tents must be taken down before we can move forward.”

Witnesses at the demonstration said the tents were still in place after 8 p.m. They also said the vocal group of demonstrators were telling attendees how to avoid being detained by police, to wear masks, and other advice that created an adversarial atmosphere.

What chumps. Both sides. Watch Dr. Darrell Wheeler, President of SUNY New Paltz, negotiates with the trespassing toddlers. Little darling girl is on the right.

The school must meet the demands of these protestors or else. pic.twitter.com/FQdZ8NH6YU

— Dr. Jebra Faushay (@JebraFaushay) May 3, 2024

What an entitled little brat that girl is. What a total soyboy that President is. I can’t even with these people.

I don’t know about you but that D9 Caterpillar sounds good right now. Roll on.

Featured Image: Screenshot/J.R.Holmsted/X(Twitter)/cropped/Widely Distributed