No, I’m not kidding.

A friend e-mailed me this story:

Sioux Falls police Tuesday arrested a 60-year-old man for burglary and for what they believe is at least two years worth of video-taped public sex acts.

Verle Peter Dills was arrested at his home at 2613 W. Bailey St. after a man who lives in the 1200 block of North Kiwanis Avenue chased Dills out of his yard Monday evening, police spokesman Loren McManus said.

The man saw Dills with a video camera and tripod and chased him for a short distance, McManus said. When the man returned home, Dills also returned with his camera and again was chased from the yard. He was seen entering the garage at 2613 W. Bailey St., McManus said.

There police found the video camera and a “large amount” of 8mm and VHS video of Dills engaged in masturbation and sex acts with traffic signs near his home, McManus said.

“We don’t know how long he’s been doing this,” he said.

He is charged with burglary, unlawful occupancy and six charges of indecent exposure.

He is being held in the Minnehaha County jail on $100,000 cash.

She wondered, and so do I: how exactly do you engage in “sex acts” with traffic signs?

Just curious.

And I can tell you this, if homeboy was engaging in “sex acts” in my front yard, he wouldn’t be in jail. He’d be in the hospital.