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OH NO!
Over at Community Feministing, a “new” feminist published a post about how she doesn’t know how to defend her feminism:
As I’ve become more confident and comfortable with myself as a feminist, I’ve started a few dialogues about it with the men in my life.
Here’s the problem:
They often convince me I’m wrong.
One of my friends takes issue with the word “feminism.” Although he agrees that gender equality is a great thing, something to strive for, he says it’s unfair for a movement to claim to be champions of equality while refusing to even pay lip service to half of the world’s population. I feel like there is a response to that, but I don’t know what to say.
Another claims that the imbalance of pay is due to maternity leave and women taking time off from their careers to be with children. “When someone takes large portions of time away from their career, they will happen to get paid less,” he says.
Another feels it’s unfair that there are scholarships, etc. available based solely on race or gender. He takes issue with affirmative action because he feels it’s not helping to promote equality so much as diversity, and he says he’d rather people be valued for their achievements and contributions than their physical differences.
And although their arguments don’t sit right with me, I don’t know how to articulate why something feels wrong. I don’t know how to explain white male privilege to them, and I don’t know where to find impartial statistics to back my opinions up.
… I just want help defending my feminism.
If anyone could help me, whether with arguments, statistics, or suggestions, I would be very grateful. Thank you all, and thanks feministing for helping me to discover and embrace the f-word.
This really cracks me up. Someone offers this girl a reasoned argument against today’s extreme feminism, and she disagrees with them because… it’s wrong. And she almost even agrees with them! The solution? Consult the orthodoxy! Good little feminists must keep in line, after all.
Most of the comments were business as usual, but it was just funny to me. Someone challenges feminism, and feminists must run back to their feminist mommies to ask them what they should say. Don’t think for yourself or anything! Feminists all think exactly the same.
First things first. Defend YOURSELF. Don’t just defend yourself because you happen to be female. You are you and you have abilities and such that you bring to the table, because they are yours, not “woman’s”.
Make it personal. Don’t address problems as “a woman”. That just opens the door to those excuses. Make it about you. Not everyone is an Ann Althouse, and there really are dumb blonds. To defend yourself against a wrong you can’t lump them all together and expect to win.
To make Feminism work you must make feminism not about women, but about you-woman. Become everything you expect that a person can be, then say “Here I am!”
Certainly there was a time when ones sex mattered, and it still will matter if you use a group approach. But a group approach is often an apple/oranges affair. Most of the time, shoot, almost ALL of the time, an employer is looking for an ingredient, not a person.
The best fight for rights is like they say about the Army, be all that you can be. Then there are no excuses.
Affirmitive action, divesity for diversities sake, hiring based on sex, all that just waters down the workplace. The real demand should be for equality of access for the individual. To do that achieves actual equality. That way when you walk through the door the competition is only about you, not nich compliance and the need to create balance.
Lily says: I just saw this a few minutes ago when browsing Feministing (I get a kick out of some of those articles, let me tell you 😛 )and I giggled. It’s absurd, the men are being logical and practical so no wonder poor little victim of the “white male patriarchy” can’t defend herself from this “oppression” but of course, she thinks it is wrong so it just HAS to be wrong!
Ahh, it’s just the usual bulldust of feeeelings trumping reason – business as usual for these people.
I cracked up when I read it. Classic example of liberals lacking the ability to think for themselves. Welcome to the Age of Obama!
Rob Farrington says: Well, the definition of feminism according to the Farrington New International Dictionary is – “Feminism: Where women are to be treated as individual human beings, rather than either totally respected or completely derided due solely to the presence of two ‘X’ chromosomes in their genetic makeup. Additionally, where they’re entitled to kick men in the gonads whenever said men repeatedly demand things without ever saying ‘please’, or ‘thank you'”.
Works for me, and it works for my fiance and my female friends. I didn’t know that feminism was supposed to be a religion. Is there any chance that there’ll be a major schism over whether or not wearing a bra is acceptable, and they’ll fall to infighting like those Sunni and Shia Islamowhackjobs?
We can only hope…
Cylar says: Am I the only one who thinks it is funny…that “feministing” sounds so much like “fisting?”
Rob Farrington says: Oh, don’t mention THAT kind of thing, Cylar.
Didn’t you know that the whole business of sexual reproduction and of having babies is SEXIST?
Well apparently, anyway. They’d probably view even your possession of a fist as a male, aggressive statement of Oppression Against Wimmin.
Andrew says: The saddest part about feminism is how they are always putting down “oppressive male patriarchy”. Yet they also claim to be against rape and domestic violence. The thing is most rapists and women beaters come from fatherless homes. Strong fathers are the best defense against rape and domestic violence, but that seems to be what the feminists are against.
mj says: She doesn’t just talk to guys. She “starts a dialog.” At least she gets that part right. Doesn’t she get partial credit for that?
Lily says: Rob Farrington, they are called “Womyn” not “Wimmin” get it right!
rjschwarz says: Sounds like she’s brainwashing and the guys nearly deprogrammed her and she had to reaffirm her faith with the brainwashers again. Very cult-like. Very sad.
rjschwarz says: Or a mole stirring up troubles.
Old proverb: A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. The author is down the road a bit with many more miles to go. Hopefully she tell the story of her journey to her grandchildren one day.
“White Male privilege?” Oh, so it must be white male privilege that kept me out of medical school on two attempts now, even though my GPA, MCAT scores and extracurriculars are out of this world. It must have been my White Male Privilege that kept me out while my black and female classmates who had much lower GPAs and laughable MCAT scores were accepted immediately.
Affirmative action is the single most evil thing we have in the world.
But it got us elected “Hope and Change” so maybe I should hope for something.
J David says: It is amusing that women anywhere actually believe the femifisters are advancing the best interests of women, generically, when they are really about ending distinctions that make women individuals (and as such, personally responsible for THEIR OWN ACTIONS, not victims) and make individuals components of healthy nuclear families(which they, as well as other commie-libs, like the Lavender Mafia, socialists/ communists, atheists, etc. hate with a purple passion), and they use the naive as useful-idiot tools. The leadership of femi-nazis are also recruiting other lesbians, too, of course…
J David says: …Or potential “fresh fish”…
NB says: Actually my favorite part was this little gem…
“and thanks feministing for helping me to discover and embrace the f-word”
Because nothing says classy, intelligent woman like an inability to express oneself without the excessive use of profanity.
Eden St. Clair says: There has been one woman in the last year that has done it and lives it and should be a feminist model. However she is under attack on all fronts apparently with the intentions to totally discredit her accomplishments and way of life. There have been no attempts by the feminist movement to recognize her but only to minimize her so the movement must be pretty disingenuous and closed to achievement on one’s own merit. You either believe exactly as we do or you are not one of us.
wahsatchmo says: Truthfully, rjschwarz is probably right. This sounds like someone having a bit of fun at the expense of Feministing.
“I don’t know how to explain white male privilege to them, and I don’t know where to find impartial statistics to back my opinions up.”
This just seems too perfect to not be a bit of flame bait.
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