As a kid I remember a few times bumping into one of my teachers at the supermarket or at the library and being a little surprised. There was something about understanding they had a life outside of the classroom that took a moment to process. I now realize such a reaction speaks well to the professionalism my teachers practiced. I didn’t know their “inner life” nor should I have. They could be warm, caring and were free to fulfill their mission of education. Such professionalism left us children free to deal with our own lives and families.

Coaches have the same moral duty towards their team members.

That is why this isn’t “authenticity,” it is emotional blackmail:

Kaig* Lightner ambushed the members of the soccer team Lightner coaches with the alleged confession he* was “born a girl.” Lightner admits ‘passing’ …

“I am incredibly lucky that my gender presentation now fits society’s stereotypes of looking like a man,” he (sic) explained. “I could easily never say anything. But I think it’s part of my responsibility as a privileged white person to share my identity.”

If Lightner actually cared about the minors as professed, nothing would have been said because nothing needed to be said. The team was obviously functioning just fine. But no, Kaig* needs to draft these minors into whatever issues s/he is still dealing with.

“I knew it would be good for them to see someone who they already respect and love be open about being transgender.”

Why? Why?

It was obviously so good for Lightner that no thought of these minors’ parents ever crossed her mind. Cynically, she may have considered the parents, then dismissed them out of hand, because their objections may have stood in the way of this public spectacle.

This kind of “confession”, that shifts an emotional burden from the confessor to the innocent party, is particularly manipulative. Lightner now gets to preen and posture as virtuous for ‘confessing’ and the minors and their parents are now blackmailed into accepting it and carrying on as if nothing has happened …

Lightner was relieved that his team took the news in stride. Practice that day was “business as usual,” he (sic) said.

… otherwise any minor or parent who objects will become the villain. INTOLERANT! HATER!! BURN THE WITCH!!!

Lightner is no hero, but is someone whose inner issues were more important than the professional obligations she had to these children. The parents should withdraw their kids from such emotional manipulation and abuse. However, in today’s Victim Olympics society, I doubt any will have the courage to do so.