Chris Cillizza hasn’t exactly been a fixture in the headlines since CNN showed him the door. But suddenly, he’s back in the news—and not because he broke a story or offered a brilliant political insight. Nope. He’s trending because someone taped a profanity-laced note to his Tesla. That’s it. No damage, no vandalism in the real sense of the word—just a piece of paper and a bruised ego.

Chris Cillizza Claims Vandalism

When I first saw the headline about Chris Cillizza’s Tesla being “vandalized,” I assumed the thing had been keyed, tires slashed, maybe even set on fire—because that’s what the word usually implies. Nope. Turns out someone taped a mean note to it. And somehow, this non-event became a full-blown social media moment, complete with a video and dramatic commentary. I had to look up who Chris Cillizza even was, and now I’m starting to think this whole thing smells less like a hate crime and more like a last-ditch attempt at attention.

Former CNN political reporter Chris Cillizza revealed Wednesday that his Tesla was vandalized with a “Musk is a Nazi” sign while attending his son’s soccer tournament over the weekend. Cillizza shared the incident on his Substack, calling it yet another example of how the politicization of everyday life is “making us all crazy.”

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Back when he bought his Tesla—a Model 3 purchased around 2019 or 2020—Cillizza assumed the real danger would come from conservatives. “The big concern I had—because this was the big thing that was happening—was sort of pro-MAGA people keying the car or smashing it…because America is about, like, real engines, not electric cars,” he said. “That was the perception back then, right? It was like you’re coding yourself as, like, an enviro-liberal-wacko-communist if you bought a Tesla.”

Was it, though? Was there ever a time that Tesla owners really thought that conservatives were going to vandalize their cars? – PJ Media

The video in question, below, cuts off after about a minute, of course, and then sends you straight to his Substack. Where, surprise, surprise, he’s asking you to sign up and pay. For the record, he wants $6 a month or $60 for the year. Feeling generous? You can shell out $500 to be a Founding Member. And yes, there’s a free option… but that only gets you the occasional crumb of public content.

I mean, I don’t blame the guy—everyone’s got a Substack hustle these days. Gotta keep the lights on somehow, right?

Over the weekend, someone defaced my Tesla.

I talked about why making EVERYTHING political is dumb — and why it’s driving us further and further apart. pic.twitter.com/qoBZdwcsuJ

— Chris Cillizza (@ChrisCillizza) May 28, 2025

In his video, Cillizza sounded genuinely stunned that the note didn’t come from some unhinged Trump supporter. Because in his world, it’s always the MAGA crowd who overreacts—never the fellow progressives with a short fuse and a Sharpie.

Here’s the thing, Chris: you seem shocked that it wasn’t a conservative who left the note—but why? The Left’s been throwing fits ever since Elon Musk stopped censoring the people they wanted silenced. The minute he let free speech back on X/Twitter, they turned on him hard. It’s not conservatives firebombing Tesla dealerships or calling for boycotts. That’s coming from your own side. So maybe don’t act so surprised when the nasty note taped to your Tesla didn’t come from the Right—but from the folks you thought were on your team.

Or, and hear me out: maybe the whole thing is staged.

But the nerve of him—saying that when he first bought his Tesla, he was worried conservatives might attack him for it. Seriously? No sir, we don’t waste our time like that. Conservatives aren’t out here picking fights over someone’s car. We’ve got bigger things to worry about than whether your driveway screams “climate guilt.”

Hey Chris, if you’re still confused about what real vandalism looks like—don’t worry. Here’s a quick reminder. Spoiler: it involves more than a piece of tape and a bad attitude.

To be fair, Chris also posted on his X account just under the video, the following:

Over the weekend, someone defaced my Tesla.

I talked about why making EVERYTHING political is dumb — and why it’s driving us further and further apart.

Chris isn’t wrong—turning everything into a political fight is exhausting. But this Tesla note stunt? It doesn’t read like outrage. It reads like an audition. A little drama, a self-shot video, a thoughtful sigh about how divided we all are—he’s clearly testing out his “reasonable guy” persona. Like maybe, just maybe, he’s hoping to become the Left’s version of Joe Rogan.

Rogan built his platform by being raw, curious, and unafraid to challenge anyone. And Chris? He found a note on his car and turned it into a dramatic monologue. Let’s not kid ourselves—you’re not that guy.

Feature Image: Frypie, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons/edited in Canva Pro