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As if the lobster empathy center wasn’t enough, PETA has unveiled their newest ridiculous campaign: Save the Sea Kittens!
(In case you haven’t heard, sea kittens are what we’re supposed to call FISH now.)
People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.
Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?
They even have fun little stories for the kiddos, to get them on board with the Save the Sea Kitten movement. Here’s an example of one:
Sally is a Sea Kitten with an attitude! While all the other Sea Kittens are washing themselves or chasing balls of yarn, Sally is busy swimming upstream to see where life will take her next.
Unfortunately, years of watching her friends and family being hooked through the mouth and dragged into a harsh, alien world above have driven her mad with grief.
Bitter and insane, she spends her days plotting revenge against the Land Kittens who live such happy lives in comfortable homes, free from the terror of being eaten.
The only thing smart about this campaign is that PETA has decided to market it towards childen, because no adult would ever take this seriously — aside from the wackjobs at PETA, of course. So maybe if children grow up loving the Sea Kittens, they’ll never know how wonderfully delicious salmon with a ginger-soy marinade can be. MMMM.
spike says: Ask any mermaid you happen to see:
“What’s the best tuna?”
“Kitten Of The Sea!”
well, that ad may be before your time, but it’s making me laff my geezer butt off, and as long as Spike is amused, no one gets hurt…
Jarrod says: Well…if every time you touch yourself, God kills a kitten, as the picture of Domo-kun would have us believe, then maybe we all should eat more sea kittens just so that way they don’t go to waste.
You know, since they were going to be killed anyhow.
I prefer CATfish. Although I… uh, I’d better not go there. Pardon me.
I LOVE peta. Especially stuffed with spicy beef, onion, peppers, and cheese.
We don’t like fish? LIES!!!
I love fish!
Where would I be in this world without Sushi, huh? I ask you!
Akatsukami says: I’m planning on sea kitten fil(l)lets with a roasted pepper, red onion, and olive garnish for dinner tomorrow.
Rob Farrington says: Next up – a PETA calendar featuring lots of trout and salmon looking seriously cute as they’re poking their heads out a wicker basket. Or then again, maybe not.
I ate a dead sea kitten encased by crispy batter earlier, accompanied with some fried-to-death potatoes, and all covered with salt and vinegar (never worked out yet what you Americans have against vinegar on chips – sorry, fries *shrugs*). Am I evil?!?
Ah, who cares? As long as it’s not something like a dolphin I’ll probably eat it, no matter what they want to call it.
Sea Kittens?
The udder audacity of these obnoxious PETA twits simply bedazzles me!!
Sea Kittens?
Ok, battered(oops!! Would that be beating them?)
I prefer my Sea Kitten batter with a little egg, beer, flour, potato flakes with some salt and pepper.
(Or a box of Shore Lunch batter)
Deep fried to a nice golden brown.
Maybe a bit of salad, onion rings or fries(chips in some circles)
That’s how you deal with Sea Kittens!!
Sea kittens and chips….. mmmmmmm.
Really, do we expect anything but stupid shit from PETA? These are the assholes who think that killing cats and dogs is better than trying to adopt them into homes as evidenced by their very own animal shelter which killed over 90% of the animals they took in.
Sea kittens are delicious with a little tartar sauce. Broiled with just a hint of lemon? Meow. Err, umm, I meant divine.
People don’t seem to like fish.
Wrong-o. I just love ’em.
There is a very silly thing zipping around the innerwebz right about now about how a “Banana is the atheist’s ultimate nightmare” because it is so obviously designed and constructed for the purpose of being eaten by humans. I think this would make much more sense if it was about fish. Just imagine an animal built, like nothing else, to be eaten. And that’s a fish. Sure they’ve got heads & tails & guts & skin & bones, and that’s a hassle, but we’re built to contend with such things. If we could all live like a Sultan having his harem girls feed him, the animal would be a grape. But we’re built to struggle. So we have fish. Yummy, yummy fish. Mmmm, fishies good.
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