What would you rather meet on the streets of Portland — an Antifa activist or a Golden Retriever? The normal person would rather encounter the Golden Retriever, but “activist-performer” Tae Phoenix (if that’s her real name) would disagree.

She wrote an opinion piece in Newsweek in which she claimed that “I’ve Met Golden Retrievers Who Scared Me More” than Antifa. What’s more, she’s really, really concerned about a Senate resolution that would classify Antifa as terrorists.

What I think is just as ridiculous is that once-prominent Newsweek would consider this drivel to be worth publishing. But I guess that’s what happens to a news magazine worth $1.

Anyway, this Champion of All Things Antifa wrote about the first time she saw these “kids:”

“These kids, most of whom were clearly overheating behind the black bandanas impractically tied across their faces, seemed enigmatic and slightly silly to me; but nothing about their posture or behavior struck me as remotely menacing.”

Phoenix first saw Antifa in 2017, when performing at a rally where pro-Trump counter-protestors were present. One told her that Antifa were “terrorists” who “look just like ISIS.”

Then Phoenix found out that the counter-protestor was part of a group that the Southern Poverty Law Center had called “far-right hate, reactionary, and antigovernment.” Therefore he was probably lying or something.

But what really upsets Phoenix is a Senate resolution that Sens. Ted Cruz and Bill Cassidy put forth which would declare Antifa a terrorist organization. She calls it “equal parts alarming and ludicrous.” Why? First or all, because they’ve never killed anyone — yet, of course. And then it’s because they’re “a decentralized, left-wing, grassroots network” On the other hand, “terrorists sow fear and instability, often in an attempt to coerce powerful institutions into complying with their demands.”

So the Andy Ngo incident of last month had nothing to do with sowing “fear and instability.” Why, a Golden Retriever is more intimidating!

Who you gonna believe — Tae Phoenix or your lying eyes?

But hold on — Tae Phoenix did admit that Antifa “employs physical violence and destroys property for political aims.” But that’s okay, because they “typically confine their actions to throwing punches when they see the need to de-platform someone. . .”

Got it. Vandalism and beating up people is A-okay, as long as we don’t like their politics, and we want them to shut up.

Sort of like the student Red Guards did in 1960’s China during the Cultural Revolution.

“Shaming session” of elderly Tibetan man. Wikimedia Commons/public domain.

Oh, says Phoenix, they’re just “kids!” Plus, she knows a few Antifa members who support the homeless and also make sure poor people get their medications. So they’re really a “mutual aid and support network.”

Right. And Vladimir Lenin loved cats, too.

But Tae Phoenix says that Cruz and Cassidy have proposed a “dangerous resolution,” because it’s — get this — a “textbook authoritarian move.”

Credit: giphy.com.

So officially designating as terrorists a group that beats up journalists, attacks U.S. Marines and older men, and destroys property is “authoritarian”?

And a Golden Retriever is more frightening than Antifa.

What planet does this idiot live on?

Oh, wait. She wants a world where Donald Trump and his supporters, aka, “white supremacists,” don’t exist. As her blog says:

“That’s why I’m using original protest music to activate people across the country to resist Donald Trump’s authoritarian and white supremacist agenda and reclaim our government.”

How low Newsweek has sunk when they publish opinion pieces from idiots such as this.

Featured image: Pamela Wilson/flickr/cropped/CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.