Dear Al –
I hope you don’t mind my calling you by your first name. You seem like such a relaxed kind of guy, who doesn’t mind getting “familiar” with women, whether they want to or not, so “Al” it is.
I read in disgust about your foul behavior toward Leeann Tweeden. There’s no doubt she is a gorgeous woman – a former model and broadcaster – so who can blame you for taking some liberties, right? After all, you were a famous comedian and all, who WOULDN’T want your greasy paws all over their breasts and your tongue down their throat, right?
WRONG, asshole!
I don’t know if Ms. Tweeden accepted your apology. Maybe she’s more gracious than I am. I would have ensured that the moment you tried to stick your reptilian tongue down my throat, I kicked you in your shriveled raisins so hard, that your gonads would have broken your teeth as they flew out your miserable maw. And I would have destroyed you the moment the photo of you groping my IBA-covered breasts made its way to me, because you do not deserve the courtesy of the benefit of the doubt. You don’t deserve to represent the people of Minnesota. A sexual predator such as you cannot possibly represent the mostly decent people of that state or any other, for that matter.
Are you interested in writing for Victory Girls? If you’d like to blog about politics and current events from a conservative POV, send us a writing sample here.
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