The Republican and Democrat Conventions are finally and mercifully over. Two weeks of that malarkey. Two whole, freaking weeks. For the love of all that is Holy, please, oh please, give us poor, unwashed clods out here in flyover country a break between the conventions. I know that won’t happen, so in four years, I will lay in more Gin and remove all the sharp objects from the house.

The Republican Convention was bad enough. Really, you know it’s true. But, for assuming stupidity in their own base and in their Taco Bowl Outreach, no group has ever been more epically heinous than the Democrat National Convention in Philadelphia last week. #DemsInPhilly, doncha know.

Never in history, not in Ancient Rome or Egypt, not in Argentina or any other Banana Republic, has any group condescended and smirked to themselves over how they punked their audience.

I have compiled my most heinous moments. Well, honestly, once I got started I had, like, 37. I had to categorize them. So rather than moments, they are categories. I call on you to compile your own and let me know.

Here in no particular order: