McCain and Obama are both being interviewed live tonight on the 9-11 Presidential Forum. The hosts are Judy Woodruff and Richard Stengel.

8:01: And we’re off. McCain is up first. The theme tonight is “national service”.

8:07: So far, this is one big snoozefest. McCain is answering questions well, but they’re all puff questions. Nothing too exciting yet.

8:12: Tons of audio issues; not a lot of live-blogging possible right now because I can’t hear 50% of what McCain is saying! So frustrating.

8:23: McCain wants to increase the size of the military. He keeps repeating it. It’s a good point.

8:31: Hey, Leonardo DiCaprio is in the audience. Yay.

8:45: McCain is perfect at the self-deprecation game. When talking about his old age, he pretended to fall asleep for a second — the audience ate it up.

8:48: McCain says Americans are special and exceptional. Judy Woodruff apparently disagrees, asks what makes Americans more special and exceptional than Canadians or Mexicans. Asks if we are better than they are, what makes us special. Sorry Judy, but Mexicans and Canadians are not the beacon of freedom in the world. They are not the most generous nations in the world, either. Yes, Americans are special. They are exceptional.

8:49: McCain nails it out of the park on Judy Woodruff’s insipid question. Her comeback? “Yes, but does that make us better?” YES, you moron.

8:50: Richard Stengel is mostly quiet with McCain, but Woodruff is off the charts on my douchebaggery meter tonight. Ugh.

8:52: McCain is done. Audience is going wild.

8:55: Obama is on the stage with McCain. McCain immediately bypasses the hosts and goes right for a handshake and a hug. Obama acts like he can’t wait to get away from him, completely gives him the brush-off. Rude.

8:55: Obama: “I’m at a slight advantage. This is my alma mater.” Makes a joke about being able to afford housing when he attended Columbia, and he couldn’t now. That’s rich. He’s only a multimillionaire. But I guess that doesn’t fly with the average American, does it? Gotta fight that elitist image.

8:57: Obama on what 9-11 meant to him: unity, the spirit of togetherness. We need to recreate that spirit. Yawn.

8:59: Obama wants ALL citizens to participate in increasing fuel efficiency and decreasing dependence on foreign oil. Marvels on the number of “small towns and even medium size towns” that rely solely on volunteer firefighters. Huh?

9:01: Obama says America is the greatest country on Earth. I almost fell out of my chair. Shocka: Woodruff didn’t combat Obama on that the way she did McCain. Hmm. He talks about individual responsibility and self-reliance, so what’s with the whole government-running-lives schtick he has?

9:06: Back from the first commercial break, and no audio problems for Obama yet.

9:08: Unions are about “togetherness”, Obama says. Leaps from that to “education has failed our children”. Ah — it’s a segue into teachers unions and how great they are. This is a defining moment for the United States… there is no leadership in Washington. Obviously this means Obama must be President!

9:09: Obama keeps talking about “small, rural towns”. Now says they might be scraping by but they help each other. He talks about how he made some big sacrifice by, after graduating from Columbia, being a community organizer rather than on Wall Street. His inspiration was the Civil Rights Movement. Says he made $12,000 a year… I’ll believe it when I see proof. Government should have a role with “young people” and “service”. That means… higher taxes! Government should give younger people an opportunity to serve AND go to college. Interesting.

9:12: Stengel asks about government being too big decreasing personal initiative. Obama stutters, says “Those are old arguments”. Don’t you dare suggest that government can be too big!

9:13: With each answer he gives, Obama is rambling. He jumps from talking point to talking point to talking point. He seems to have no focus whatsoever. Make a point and stick to it!

9:15: Obama says he wants to expand government’s avenues to provide opportunities, like an “energy corps”. Huh? He’s really hammering the big government theme tonight.

9:18: And we’re back. Woodruff asks another asshole question: “One of the consequences of 9-11 were the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and the military is facing enormous challenges.” Consequences? Obama says that the military is too strained right now. Trying to come off all hawk-ish now. He’s not doing very well.

9:21: Obama says the President should push for military service as an obligation for many, not just for some. Again with the small town meme. Says that if we go to war, “we all go to war”. What in the hell is that supposed to mean??

9:22: Stengel asks about Columbia welcoming Ahmadinejad, but not ROTC. Should ROTC be welcomed? Obama says yes, but could he really say anything else?

9:25: Woodruff asks how you forcibly create a larger military without creating a draft. Obama says the President should “inspire” people to serve. How exactly does one do that, Obama?

9:30: And we’re back again. Obama says McCain’s service is “legendary”. Says he wants to stop the politicization of military service, and then turns around and talks about how a soldier was unable to get treatment for PTSD and killed himself. Is that perhaps veiled politicization? Hmm…

9:33: Stengel asks Obama about the community organizer vs. small-town mayor thing. Obama says they’re all yak, yak in the Senate while mayors have to take care of… getting the trash taken care of? Nice.

9:36: Woodruff asks Obama about the tone and rhetoric from Washington. Washington is “broken”… yawn. Obama preaches change, but he is the typical politician! HOW will he change Washington? There’s nothing but empty words here! Wants to make government “cool” again.

9:38: Is volunteerism part of what makes America special? Obama responds with an automatic yes. Mentions being part of a “common project”. Hmm.

9:40: What President would you use as a model for you? Obama says what Kennedy did was great, creating new frontiers. Mentions Bill Clinton. Idealism. Obama’s asked if any Republican Presidents come to mind, he says Teddy Roosevelt.

9:41: Thank God, it’s OVER.

THOUGHTS:

Wow. That was terrible. A huge snoozefest the entire time. But you know, John McCain did much better than Obama did in my opinion. McCain was charming, he was knowledgeable. He stayed on topic and came across as someone who knew his stuff. He was also funny and self-deprecating. The crowd ate it up. Obama, on the other hand, kept jumping from topic to topic. He rambled. He didn’t say much that was too offensive and was likeable and charming enough, but he didn’t say anything of substance all night. It was all empty rhetoric and talk of inspiration! and change! and hope! and unity! and togetherness! and the like.

All in all, the loser here was neither candidate. They both did adequately well. The real loser here was Judy Woodruff. She gets my Douchebag Of The Day award.