I’ve got a new post up at Hard Corps Wife. Here’s an excerpt:
At about 1:30 this morning, I dropped Matt off for training that will take him away for over a month. We had advance notice, we’ve known for months that this was coming, but somehow, it always seems to still creep up on you. Before you know it, the day has come and you’re spending your last night in bed with them, weeping.
I always feel bad about that, the crying. Is that an overreaction on my part? I feel like it’s my duty to him to stay strong enough to at least hold it in until he’s gone. After all, I know that he doesn’t want to leave me anymore than I want him to go. It can’t make it easier on him, seeing me cry as he kisses me goodbye and walks away. I wish I could be one of those stronger women who can hold it all in. I feel like its a weakness on my part, that I should be strong enough to make the separations as easy as possible for him. It feels near impossible, though. I do the best I can — it isn’t like I spend the entire night before he leaves sobbing hysterically — but sometimes, I just can’t hold it in and feel terrible.
Make sure to go go read the whole thing! And if you haven’t bookmarked it yet, go do it now.
Cassy: “stronger” women who excel at holding it all in are often envious of women like you. I’m not a saint, but I can play one on TV (or in a relationship); problematically, the foundation of those relationships is that I’m not going to be unhappy, even once in a while. Furthermore, men can often interpret a woman’s lack of tears, anger, or sadness (as appropriate to the occasion) as not caring. Trust this – that’s a horrible way to miscommunicate in a relationship, especially one that requires the special care that your marriage does.
Let me also offer you this: Matt just married Cassy. He didn’t marry non-crying Cassy; he married you. That’s not to say that marriage is an exemption from trying to grow and improve oneself, but just to point out that your Marine didn’t want a strong, silent type; he fell in love with you, heartfelt tears and all.
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