When you hear the phrase “gender terrorism”, what do you think of? For most normal people, things like female genital mutilation come to mind. Honor killings. Stonings. Horrors and atrocities visited upon women in the Middle East.

For feminists, those things are icky and bad, but they aren’t nearly as important as the so-called gender terrorism against women here in the United States… like having to pay with their own money for an abortion. Or taking responsibility for participating in a stripper contest.

The sound of my cell phone buzzing on my nightstand promptly woke me up from a nightmare. Concerned that it might have been from a friend needing assistance, I quickly reached for it, only to find out it was only from a “breaking news” text message service I’d signed up for. Fearing it might be a breaking story of today’s primary contests, good news on the BP oilspill, or perhaps a big attack on a military base in Afghanistan, where so many of my friends are currently deployed, I was disappointed from the headline. “Breaking now: Ms. USA’s racy photos surface,” the headline read.

Groggy and tired, I tossed the phone back on my nightstand and returned to my nightmare, knowing full well that unlike Ms. USA and the millions of other women in America, I get to wake up from my nightmare, whereas each day, they collectively continue to live the nightmare of not having ownership of their own bodies and sexuality, and ultimately, live in fear that at anytime, anything they do, as women, is subjected to public debate simply because their bodies are seen as public property.

Although the stories of “fallen” women – women who, society sees, acted outside of their gender roles for simply embracing their sexuality, are often treated as breaking news, they are far too common and until as Americans, we reject the notion that society is the owner of women’s bodies, more women will continue to live in fear, more young lives will be ruined, and more girls and women will be sexually assaulted and not get the justice they deserve. Until we avert our eyes from the telivision, voice our opinions and give women’s bodies back to their rightful owners, the gender terrorism that takes place through the fear thrusted upon women, will continue to take place.

Whether Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, Carrie Prejean or Rema Fakih (and yes, Fakih, too, CNN and Fox News and MSNBC, for reporting these stories) famous or not, no women – even conventionally “unattractive” ones – is free from having their sexualities owned by the public. This mentality – the mentality that women’s personal lives are public properties, to be talked about and reported, looked at and debated about, are the very same reasons that each first Tuesday in November, we still fight over whether women should have the rights to choose what happens to their own bodies. After all, if we don’t see women as being valuable enough to make their own decisions about whether they wish to have sex, or do dances and act in ways that make them feel positive about their sexuality, how can we value their decisions on something as important abortions?

More than just having to do with reproductive justice, however, the invasion of women’s privacy and society’s ownership of their sexuality is also a reflection of the virgin/whore complex – the belief that women only operate in two spheres, and whereas one group is to be respected – the other, by merely embracing biological desires, loses all of its rights. Sadly, in losing the rights to privacy and owning their sexuality, this group also loses the rights not be sexually assaulted, and worst, when they are, they are less likely to be believed in courts and media reports.

Time and time again, countless studies on rape culture and the victim-blaming mentalities have shown that women who embrace sexuality, who dress “provocatively,” are less likely to be believed in rape cases, because of the mentality that their past sexual history dictate their desire for sex at the moment of rape, and worst, that their clothes dictate they’d “asked for it.”

Nowhere else is this more prominently played out than in the various cases within the jury’s deliberation for rape cases. In February 1992, when boxer Mike Tyson was convicted of raping Desiree Washington, the then 18-year-old Ms. Black America Pageant winner, one of the reasons jurors cited for his conviction was her “Christian beliefs” and lifestyle. In short, because of Washington’s history of “purity,” and her choosing not to wander out of prescribed gender roles, she was believed and got her day in court. But what if Washington had not been Christian and wasn’t “pure,” what if she did wander outside of gender roles? Would she have been believed in, or written off as yet another young woman looking to make money by claiming rape against a famous athlete? What if three months from now, Rema Fakih is raped? Would she get the justice she deserves?

More than just about securing Roe v. Wade and giving rape survivors their day in court, however, giving back ownership of women’s bodies to women is a highly necessary task because while women have achieved great prominence politically, the personal lives of women are at a stand still. Imagine a world in which every action you take is questioned, every bit of clothing could decide the difference between getting justice and forever being denied the closure rape survivors ought to be entitled to, and every intimate encounter has the potential of ruining ambitions and dreams. Imagine a world in which even choosing to love someone of the same gender has potential to back fire.

It’s a familiar world – it’s a world Sarah Palin and Elana Kagan live in. It’s a world Carrie Prejean and Rema Fakih live in. It’s a world that far too many of your friends and mine, our sisters and classmates, lovers and neighbors, continue to live in – and it’s a world we each have a responsibility to change, because for too long, too many of them have been denied the rights to simply be, the rights to dress as they wish without fear, to embrace their sexuality, get justice should they be raped, and to be respected as human beings and adults, making conscious decisions about their lives.

Predictable drivel from a feminist trained to never think for herself. These words could have come straight out of a Womyn’s Studies class. The new brand of gender terrorism? The media discussing Miss USA’s stripper photos. Abortions not being funded enough by the government. The rare case of rape victims who aren’t believed. (Women who falsely accuse men of rape and get away with it are OK to feminists.) The is gender terrorism, a national nightmare for American women.

So, for all you women out there happy with your lives and proud of your country, get with the program. You’re actually living in a nightmare! Yeah, you don’t have to worry about having your genitals mutilated or getting beaten for being out in public with a man, or getting stoned if you’re raped. So what? You do have to worry about having to take responsibility for your actions. It’s just a terrible, terrible world we live in.

Take Miss USA, for example. Apparently, its wrong for media outlets to report on her stripper photos and it means, somehow, that the patriarchy “owns” her body. That makes no logical sense whatsoever. The girl voluntarily signed up for a stripper contest, for cripe’s sake, one put on by a radio station. She willingly participated in a public event and allowed herself to be photographed, and these are the repercussions. Like it or not, Miss USA is supposed to be a role model, and winning stripper contests doesn’t exactly make most parents proud to have their daughters look up to her.

I have no problem with an Arab-American winning Miss USA. I agree with Melissa Clouthier — the more Muslim women strut around looking sexy in bikinis, the less power Sharia law will have over American Muslims. I do have a problem with an Arab-American winning just for diversity’s sake, and especially when it seems clear that she wasn’t the better candidate. But she’s won, it’s done, and public photos from a radio station of her stripping are fair game. At best, she exercized poor judgement. If you’re a young girl who wants to be the future Miss USA, perhaps you should abstain from entering stripper contests. Even outside of beauty pageants, information like this readily available on the internet will make most bosses cringe.

This is not gender terrorism.

As to “embracing sexuality”, this is feminist-speak for sleeping around. You never hear feminists talk about women embracing their sexuality in a marriage or committed relationship. Embracing sexuality usually means being a slut and/or dressing provocatively. After all, I doubt that any feminist would ever look at Sarah Palin and say that she embraces her sexuality, even though she obviously does.

And despite what unimaginative feminists have been saying about me for the past few days, I do not think it’s a crime to have sex before marriage. I certainly don’t think it makes you a whore. I’ve never said anything remotely similar. I have said, however, that waiting until marriage is the ideal, and it is — for health reasons, if nothing else. I don’t believe having sex before marriage makes you a slut or a bad person, but feminists like Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon and Jill at Feministe would have you think that I do. Why? Because I believe, as most people do, that screwing anyone who catches your interest, is not healthy or smart, that women shouldn’t be giving it up to men they barely know. I also think that if you constantly have one-night stands and sleep around all the time, then you don’t really have much room to complain if you get labeled a slut. There are consequences to your actions. It may sound harsh, but it’s life. Feminists, like all liberals, don’t like to live in reality.

And while yes, it’s a terrible tragedy when a girl is raped and her rapist is set free — or worse, the girl is blamed for it because of her clothes — how often do feminists speak out for the men whose lives are shattered when they are unjustly accused of rape? They never do. Neither of these things should be condoned, yet feminists look the other way when men are ripped to pieces by women who make false rape accusations. Some feminists say that innocent men even deserve it, just because they’re men and therefore are all rapists in some way, shape, or form.

Miss USA is not a victim of anything but her own poor judgement. She’s certainly not a victim of any kind of “gender oppression”, nor are most American women. We’re blessed to live in the freest country in the world, where opportunities are endless if you’re willing to work hard enough for it. Opportunity comes with responsibility, however. Feminists want to ignore that simple truth. If they want to see real gender oppression, then perhaps America’s radical feminists should go live in China or Saudi Arabia for a while. Then maybe they’d understand what oppressed women really look like.

Cross-posted at The Green Room.