It’s been confirmed: Barack Obama really is the Obamamessiah! Confirmed by who? Well, it’s been confirmed by this dolt writing for, surprise surprise, a major U.S. newspaper, the San Francisco Gate.

Barack Obama isn’t really one of us. Not in the normal way, anyway.

This is what I find myself offering up more and more in response to the whiners and the frowners and to those with broken or sadly dysfunctional karmic antennae – or no antennae at all – to all those who just don’t understand and maybe even actively recoil against all this chatter about Obama’s aura and feel and MLK/JFK-like vibe.

To them I say, all right, you want to know what it is? The appeal, the pull, the ethereal and magical thing that seems to enthrall millions of people from all over the world, that keeps opening up and firing into new channels of the culture normally completely unaffected by politics?

No, it’s not merely his youthful vigor, or handsomeness, or even inspiring rhetoric. It is not fresh ideas or cool charisma or the fact that a black president will be historic and revolutionary in about a thousand different ways. It is something more. Even Bill Clinton, with all his effortless, winking charm, didn’t have what Obama has, which is a sort of powerful luminosity, a unique high-vibration integrity.

Dismiss it all you like, but I’ve heard from far too many enormously smart, wise, spiritually attuned people who’ve been intuitively blown away by Obama’s presence – not speeches, not policies, but sheer presence – to say it’s just a clever marketing ploy, a slick gambit carefully orchestrated by hotshot campaign organizers who, once Obama gets into office, will suddenly turn from perky optimists to vile soul-sucking lobbyist whores, with Obama as their suddenly evil, cackling overlord.

Here’s where it gets gooey. Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare. And this why he is so often compared to Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr., to those leaders in our culture whose stirring vibrations still resonate throughout our short history.

Are you rolling your eyes and scoffing? Fine by me. But you gotta wonder, why has, say, the JFK legacy lasted so long, is so vital to our national identity? Yes, the assassination canonized his legend. The Kennedy family is our version of royalty. But there’s something more. Those attuned to energies beyond the literal meanings of things, these people say JFK wasn’t assassinated for any typical reason you can name. It’s because he was just this kind of high-vibration being, a peacemaker, at odds with the war machine, the CIA, the dark side. And it killed him.

Reading this, I halfway wondered if this was some secret column switch made by the spies in the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, published for the sole purpose of mocking how ridiculous the media’s fawning coverage of Obama’s campaign has been.

Of course, we all know that’s not true. People will actually read this and believe the insipid tripe.

Makes this video of fawning journalists seem tame, doesn’t it?

Has anyone even heard the term “Lightworker” before? I’m pretty sure that’s something this idiot and his “enlightened” buddies made up, probably when they were smoking… things. But hey, Obama is destined, he’s entitled, the Presidency is his, because he’s the Obamamessiah, and he will save our country and the world!! The birds will sing, the flowers will bloom, global warming will disappear, the economy will improve, the war in Iraq will be over, and the Middle East will stop wanting to kill us.

And hey, this guy said it loud and clear, exactly what it is that Obama’s supporters like so gosh darn much about him. Forget policies or speeches, what’s really important is that undefinable presence he has. That’s all we need. Well, that, and the fist-bump.

God save us.

From LGF on a tip from Matthew.