The San Francisco Hook Up Truck: Sluthood Goes Mobile

The San Francisco Hook Up Truck: Sluthood Goes Mobile

hookup truck

The city that brings us such cultural gems as the Folsom Street Fair is now bringing yet another display of cultural lewdness: the hook up truck! Since going back to the privacy of your own home — or a hotel room — is clearly too much to ask of some people, “conceptual artist” Spy Emerson decided to solve what is clearly one of the world’s most pressing problems: where to have sex in public without getting arrested, preferably with strangers!

“It’s a small room. Everyone who has seen it has had so much fun. It’s like being a kid in a fort,” she said. “It’s designed for sex. There’s a bench, a bar to hold onto, and there’s a mirror on the ceiling. I’m still putting the finishing touches on it.”

… After stories of the Hook-Up Truck first made the rounds on the internet, Emerson said she’s been getting a flood of calls from people eager to try her project out.

“The response has been so large. I didn’t realize the scope of how many people would be interested,” she said. “There are so many people who want to use it. You know, for a tryst, or work-time afternoon delight. A single mom with two kids who said she doesn’t have any time asked if we could be there in her driveway so she could have sex with her boyfriend — just a quickie.”

How many single moms really need a hook up truck to have sex with their boyfriend in the driveway? Call me crazy, but there are these magical things called locks. I’d imagine that single mothers would be more keen to use those than fork over $75/hour for a hook up truck, because when you’ve got kids to take care of, every dollar counts. Let’s be honest and call this what it is, shall we? Which is exactly what the San Francisco CBS affiliate is doing: calling it a haven for casual sex.

Glamour and Cosmopolitan magazines are both all over this idea, because what their readers need is obviously a new way to be even sluttier than they’re already being encouraged to be. The SF Weekly and the Huffington Post are enthusiastic as well. Here’s a good question though: who actually wants to use this thing? What kind of woman, anyway, would meet a guy at a bar and then be thrilled at the prospect of getting it on in the back of a delivery truck? Honey, if a man can’t even be bothered to take you home, then he ain’t worth spreading your legs for.

In all seriousness, is this what we’re coming to? It’s one thing to have sex with fifteen different people on any given night. But once upon a time, people at least would do so behind closed doors, privately. Isn’t that what the liberals and feminazis always say they’re so concerned about? That what they do in private isn’t anyone’s business? But see, it’s not private anymore, is it? No, the doors are being flung wide open and not only are we all supposed to know the details of the sex lives of fellow Americans, we’re supposed to approve of it as well. It’s not enough for people to just be sluts anymore — they’ve got to parade their sluthood in public, and everyone else better approve, dammit, because somehow, sluthood is supposed to be empowering.

Now we’re seeing where people are not only being encouraged to have casual sex — hardly a new thing, of course — but they’re being encouraged to do it in public. Because let’s be honest, this isn’t really private. Heck, they’ve even thrown in a webcam so that couples can broadcast their sexcapades. It’s like culturally, we’re just sinking lower and lower. How far do we have to fall before we finally say enough?

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10 Comments
  • Dana says:

    Our esteemed hostess wrote:

    Here’s a good question though: who actually wants to use this thing? What kind of woman, anyway, would meet a guy at a bar and then be thrilled at the prospect of getting it on in the back of a delivery truck? Honey, if a man can’t even be bothered to take you home, then he ain’t worth spreading your legs for.

    It’s San Francisco; there won’t be all that many women spreading their legs in this thing.

    Of course, my guess is that there are hidden cameras in there, too, so anyone who decides to use this thing will find the videos on the internet in short order.

  • VALman says:

    “How far do we have to fall before we finally say enough?”

    Unfortunately, and sadly, all the way to the bottom. It seems that there’s a cycle in human history. Overtime, freedoms become used and abused until they become so out of control that chaos results. Then, there’s a period of correction. Law upon law is imposed. For a time, it’s okay. But, then, more law leads to oppression and strangulation of freedoms. Tyrants are overthrown and there’s a new breath of freedom. And, so the cycle goes.

    On the lighter side, what do you think will happen if the police stop the truck and want to “check-out” the back?

    • Xavier says:

      Freebies for the boys in blue, like a doughnut shop on wheels.

      • VAlman says:

        Not if they’re smart for any number of reasons, though note Dana’s remark regarding hidden cameras. This aside “doughnut shop on wheels” is funny.

  • sassefrass says:

    Considering the majority of your posts concentrate on a connection of government compartmentalizing of human beings (like the TSA cattle herding fiascos) I’m surprised this wouldn’t be viewed as nothing more than a disgusting liberal protest to it’s political counterpart. The entire reason the hippy generation or “free love movement” in SF was nearly wiped out was, in my opinion, because the concept of individuals meeting by fluke or happenstance was a concept most feared by the gate keepers or the powers that be. Like mindedness or equally yoked pairings of two consenting adults by way of nothing more than free will is very much a threat to the corporate created “family” dynamic. Is SF’s mystery van invention a threat to society’s moral compass, trash with web cams spying on couples working one out, or just another outlandish display of protest often seen by liberal progressivism when something much more sinister is happening on the exact opposite end of the spectrum. For instance, is California really the platform hub of dysfunctional forced and/or mandated state religion? Glenn Beck’s Agenda 21 shares a good read on some of those middle man bad guy points. The beatniks can’t be that quickly dismissed given the CIA and corporate fixers wiped most of those love birds out with the 1960s LSD trials…

  • Joe says:

    If ya don’t like it, don’t go. You can’t hate others for what they like. It’s a business venture. Soon enough, it will be making more money than your lousy website.

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