Sheldon Whitehouse Has Mad Skillz

Sheldon Whitehouse Has Mad Skillz

Sheldon Whitehouse Has Mad Skillz

So the plot thickens. Now, instead of a full Senate vote on Brett Kavanaugh come Tuesday, we have a delay for an FBI investigation. But maybe Sheldon Whitehouse, the Democratic Senator from Rhode Island, can help with that. He’s got some mad skillz to crack the Kavanaugh case.

Sheldon Whitehouse, deft sleuth that he is, managed to decipher the Yearbook Code, the proprietary code of high school boys everywhere. It’s kind of like the Da Vinci Code with fart jokes.

Or so the pompous Sen. Whitehouse must think.

Sheldon Whitehouse

Credit: commons.wikimedia.org.

During Thursday’s hearing, Whitehouse confronted Judge Kavanaugh with these riveting gotcha! questions:

“WHITEHOUSE: Let’s look at, “Beach Week Ralph Club — Biggest Contributor,” what does the word Ralph mean in that?

KAVANAUGH: That probably refers to throwing up. I’m known to have a weak stomach and I always have. In fact, the last time I was here, you asked me about having ketchup on spaghetti. I always have had a weak stomach. …

WHITEHOUSE: So the vomiting that you reference in the Ralph Club reference, related to the consumption of alcohol?”

Then Sheldon Whitehouse asked Kavanaugh about “boofing:”

“WHITEHOUSE: … Judge, have you — I don’t know if it’s “boufed” or “boofed” — how do you pronounce that?

KAVANAUGH: That refers to flatulence. We were 16.

WHITEHOUSE: OK. And so when your friend Mark Judge said the same — put the same thing in his yearbook page back to you, he had the same meaning? It was flatulence?

KAVANAUGH: I don’t know what he did, but that’s my recollection. We want to talk about flatulence at age 16 on a yearbook page, I’m — I’m game.”

Judge Kavanaugh seemed to be quite irritated with this, which is perfectly understandable.

https://twitter.com/RealSaavedra/status/1045465667846041601?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1045465667846041601&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailywire.com%2Fnews%2F36431%2Fwatch-democratic-senator-presses-kavanaugh-farting-ryan-saavedra

If Cory Booker can call himself “Spartacus,” can we now call Sheldon Whitehouse “Fartacus?”

Just wondering.

Anyway, Whitehouse wasn’t finished, even though he made a spectacle of himself on Thursday. Because on Friday, Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse was at it again. Only this time he brought Judge Kavanaugh’s calendar as a prop, a là Karl Rove and his ubiquitous whiteboard:

Such sleuthing! It’s Columbo all over again! Sheldon Whitehouse has found a hole in “Bart” Kavanaugh’s testimony because he failed to write down the name of the girl he assaulted in his calendar! 

And it could be “powerful corroborating evidence that the assault happened, that it happened that day and that it happened at that place.”

Say, what?

sheldon whitehouse columbo

Moreover, the cunning Sheldon Whitehouse has determined that ‘boof’ doesn’t mean flatulence:

So what is Whitehouse doing — spending time pouring over vulgarities in Urban Dictionary, trying to find nefarious meanings to Brett Kavanaugh’s calendar scribblings?

sheldon whitehouse lurker

You know, perhaps Sheldon Whitehouse should approach the FBI as to how he cracked the codes in Judge Kavanaugh’s yearbook and calendar markings. After all, his mad skillz might be of interest to FBI agents — comic interest, that is.

 

Featured image: cropped photo from commons.wikimedia.org.

Written by

Kim is a pint-sized patriot who packs some big contradictions. She is a Baby Boomer who never became a hippie, an active Republican who first registered as a Democrat (okay, it was to help a sorority sister's father in his run for sheriff), and a devout Lutheran who practices yoga. Growing up in small-town Indiana, now living in the Kansas City metro, Kim is a conservative Midwestern gal whose heart is also in the Seattle area, where her eldest daughter, son-in-law, and grandson live. Kim is a working speech pathologist who left school system employment behind to subcontract to an agency, and has never looked back. She describes her conservatism as falling in the mold of Russell Kirk's Ten Conservative Principles. Don't know what they are? Google them!

2 Comments
  • css says:

    Throughout the entire proceeding yesterday perhaps the most entertaining was Senator Whitehead’s (D-BG) cross on the Kavanaugh yearbook. I was literally in tears from laughter. Really. I cried so hard I almost boofed ;>}

  • gladys says:

    I thought boufing was putting pills up your rectum to get high. But what do I know. You say tomato and I say to mat o. I came from Iowa where a sofa was called a davenport. And margarine was called oleo. Does that make me a serial rapist?

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