Note to Chelsea Handler: Stick to Drugs and Lame Comedy

Note to Chelsea Handler: Stick to Drugs and Lame Comedy

Noted military history and policy expert Chelsea Handler, whose biggest academic accomplishment is apparently passing a breathalyzer test once, had some sage advice for U.S. military leadership yesterday:

Quite the judicious advice from someone who admits to have barely graduated high school to men such as Joint Chiefs Chairman Joseph Dunford, who sports a fashionable Master’s degree from Georgetown, and another one From Tufts, West Point graduate and current SACEUR Mike Scaparrotti, first African-American West Point Cadet Brigade Commander Vince Brooks, and Auburn University and Naval War College graduate Admiral Mike Rogers, who currently serves as the Director of the National Security Agency. Not to mention retired Marine Corps General and current SECDEF James Mattis, who has a Master’s degree from the National War College, and has been nicknamed “The Warrior Monk” owing to his lifelong bachelorhood and devotion to the study of war.


Keep in mind this is the same anencephalic (or is it syphilitic, since that particular disease brings on the Swiss cheese brain crazy) nitwit that in March tweeted that she hoped Eric Trump’s first baby didn’t carry on his “jeans,” and then blamed the mistake on drugs.

Well, gosh! The “I’m not stupid; I’m just stoned” excuse? I hear that so often!

Now, I’m certainly not going to dwell on Handler’s writing mistakes. We’re all sometimes guilty of errors. We’re all human.

I do, however, find it instructive that this is the same celebutard bimbo who just months before that spastic, stoned Twitterage saw it fit to ridicule Melania Trump’s foreign accent by claiming she would never have the First Lady on her show because “she can barely speak English.”

For the record, Mrs. Trump, who was born in Slovenia, speaks Slovenian, English, French, Serbian and German.

Handler, on the other hand, barely speaks English on days when she’s not bogarting the dubage.

So, now Handler has graduated from ridiculing the accents and language skills of immigrants – a class of people whom she and her imbecilic ilk supposedly support (unless, of course they happen to be married to someone she dislikes) – to advising the military to forcibly remove a sitting President.

Banana republic much, Chelsea?

She wants the military, who take an oath to support and defend the Constitution of the United States, to overthrow a duly elected President of the United States because she can’t accept the fact that Queen Pantsuit lost the election.

The lack of self awareness becomes even more pathetic when one realizes that only four days before issuing this erudite philosophical call to the nation’s military leadership, Handler was nervously derping about the country becoming a “military state” because MISSOURI!

Not that I believe Handler is in any way capable of critical thought or actual research that doesn’t involve ingesting vast amounts of mind-altering substances, but she might want to look up what the law says about those who advocate the overthrow of government.


Written by

Marta Hernandez is an immigrant, writer, editor, science fiction fan (especially military sci-fi), and a lover of freedom, her children, her husband and her pets. She loves to shoot, and range time is sacred, as is her hiking obsession, especially if we’re talking the European Alps. She is an avid caffeine and TWD addict, and wants to own otters, sloths, wallabies, koalas, and wombats when she grows up.

1 Comment
  • Richard says:

    $ome of her BE$T QUOTE$ from Brainy
    !!!!!”””I think you do need two terms as a president.”””””!!!!
    “”Don’t think about anything for too long. Even if it’s off-the-wall, go for it. You’ll have a lot more fun in life.””
    “”I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn’t born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that’s how my breakups tend to play out.””
    “””Who would marry me anyway? I’m a handful””.
    “”I was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved”””
    “”Some people have a phobia of midgets. They’re, like, scared of them. I have the opposite – I see them, and I want to hold them down, cuddle them, be like, ‘Come here, you little nugget. Who’s your mommy now?’ So cute!””
    “”Have you ever been sued by a midget? It’s not fun.””
    “””Jews are underdogs – not in my world, obviously, they’re not.””
    “””I think nudity is funny, especially when it’s inappropriate.””
    “””I’m actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she’s really funny. I think she’s really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.”””
    “””Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking – especially her. They’re so strange and charismatic and weird. It’s pretty hard to take your eyes off them. “””
    “””I try not to cheat on my boyfriends when I have them.”””
    “””I’m not superstitious at all. I’m not a Russian.”””
    “””Personally, I’d have a baby just for the epidural.””
    “””I don’t have a lot of shame. That doesn’t mean I can’t feel bad about the way someone reacts to me or about something I read about myself online. But I don’t have a lot of guilt, no. I’ve always been this way. I’m missing a chip.””
    “””I have a huge impact with young girls. Young women. That’s my demographic.””
    “”There’s times where you think, ‘Gosh, what if nobody ever wants to hear what I have to say?’””
    “”I have severe ADD, and I’m constantly looking to amuse myself.””
    “”I love a stupid joke, something that doesn’t make any sense.””
    “”Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn’t have to act out somebody else’s words. I could just stand there with a microphone, and nobody would interrupt me. It’s the most narcissistic thing you could probably do.””

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