Michelle Obama Goes on Tour and Prices Are Obscene

Michelle Obama Goes on Tour and Prices Are Obscene

Michelle Obama Goes on Tour and Prices Are Obscene

With role models like Beyoncé, it is no wonder tickets for Michelle Obama’s speaking tour are astronomical.

Obama is embarking on a short tour of several major cities to promote her memoir, Becoming. Although promoters have been pretty tight-lipped on the contents of the book, according to our friends at CNN, the tour is “selling out arenas.” So much so that more appearances have been added. Yes, I said arenas.

And the lower you go on the floor to Queen Michelle, the higher the ticket prices are.

“It is not easy to tell somebody that you are worth a lot,” she said. “Especially for women. We have a hard time saying that about ourselves, that I know my worth and I can put a monetary number on it, too.”-Michelle Obama

And what is that monetary number, exactly? Nosebleed seats started at $29.50. Those seats went fast, leaving only lower level arena seats, which will run some about $500 each. Floor seats will run attendees a monthly mortgage payment, with VIP packages (my guess is a book, meet-and-greet and a selfie) will cost one person enough to feed a small village for at least a month.

Obama, who received a $65 million dollar advance, kicks off the “tour,” or, as they are calling it, the “intimate conversation” in her home city of Chicago.

The former first lady will also make appearances in D.C., Philadelphia, San Jose, Detroit, Dallas and Brooklyn.

Apparently, Obama is not donating all of the proceeds to the voiceless in the communities she graces with her presence, after all, she does have to make good on a $65 million dollar advance. Only a mere 10% of ticket sales will go to local city charities. And we can imagine which charities these may be. The rest goes straight into her bank account. After all, “she knows what she’s worth” and she did suffer the oppression of living in a “house built by slaves” for eight years. We also need to keep in mind that she still needs to continue to be clothed in haute couture and have an occasional respite in Hawaii or Martha’s Vineyard.

To be fair, some of the proceeds of ticket sales will go to her stylist, make-up artist and of course, green room catering fit for a queen, I am sure. How about armed security in crime-ridden Chicago? Got it. We’re paying for that one. But I’m sure, in addition to Secret Service detail, Michelle’s posse will figure out a way to get the government to foot the bill for additional armed security. Funny how that works.

The Becoming book tour will not be too grueling for poor Michelle. After lecturing Americans who shelled out three grand to bask in her glory, she will be able to return home to Kalorama House and gear up for her Elle cover and $100 million dollar Netflix deal. Yay for Capitalism! After all, it’s our world as it should be, right, Michelle? Tell that to Saul Alinksky.

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3 Comments
  • dmaxwell hedden says:

    No doubt Ellen came up with the idea to put the image of a flaming rod in Michelle’s pants. If they are so hot to trot feminist, why do they perpetuate the idea Michelle is Michael the man, unless it is to goad Conservatives, or is it to gore Christian sensibilities?

  • scott says:

    God it’s a sad commentary that there are that many morons in this country that they would pay even a nickle, let alone three grand to listen to this communist POS speak…her and her wife in the skinny jeans just need to go away!

  • SFC D says:

    Please note the following list of Michelle Obama’s significant accomplishments and achievements:

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