It’s Kimmel vs. Cruz, Mano a Mano, in the Blobfish Basketball Classic [VIDEO]

It’s Kimmel vs. Cruz, Mano a Mano, in the Blobfish Basketball Classic [VIDEO]

It’s Kimmel vs. Cruz, Mano a Mano, in the Blobfish Basketball Classic [VIDEO]

Didja hear about the big sports event this weekend? What — the FIFA World Cup in Russia? Oh, heck no. I’m talking about the Blobfish Basketball Classic, which is going down in Houston on Saturday.

Huh?

Forget FIFA — the Blobfish Classic is the mano a mano basketball match between Jimmy Kimmel and Sen. Ted Cruz.

Now this all started last month, when Kimmel compared Cruz’s looks to a blobfish, after Cruz tweeted a picture of himself at a Houston Rockets game.

Yes, there is such a thing. Whether or not it looks like Sen. Cruz is up to interpretation, I guess.

At any rate, Cruz didn’t let the insult to his . .  well, good looks, slide. So he challenged Kimmel to a game of “man to man” hoops to settle the score. And, even better, the loser would donate $5K to charity.

Thus, the Blobfish Classic was born, and it’ll be held at Texas Southern University on Saturday.

So how do these two hoopsters stack up?

Well, the scouting report on Cruz lists his height as “somewhere between 5’8″ and 5’10.” Now I’ve seen Ted Cruz up close at a campaign event last year, and frankly, I think it’s a stretch to place his height at 5’10.” But, this is from sports writers at Texas Monthly, so I guess they’ll give a fellow Texan the benefit of the doubt.

As far as Jimmy Kimmel goes, he’s got the height advantage, standing at about 6’1.” And while Cruz has never been a jock type, Kimmel did play some one-on-one b-ball with rapper Eminem. While sucking helium. You can take that for whatever it’s worth.

However, Ted Cruz has been compared to Duke University basketball star Grayson Allen. Now that’s a good thing for Team Cruz, right? Well, the comparison is only because Allen is Cruz’s doppelgänger, so there’s that.

But here’s an inside video of Ted shooting a few hoops during practice, complete with the stirring theme from Chariots of Fire. Fear the Cruz, Jimmy Kimmel!

Well, okay then.

But believe it or not, Vegas is giving the odds to. . . drum roll, please. . . Ted Cruz!

Yeah, I’m a bit skeptical of that, too.

But whoever wins the match, the winner will be not one, but two charities. You see, proceeds from both wagers will go to both their chosen charities — the Texas Children’s Hospital and Generation One, a non-profit which deals with poverty.

If only all political differences could be settled so amicably.

Written by

Kim is a pint-sized patriot who packs some big contradictions. She is a Baby Boomer who never became a hippie, an active Republican who first registered as a Democrat (okay, it was to help a sorority sister's father in his run for sheriff), and a devout Lutheran who practices yoga. Growing up in small-town Indiana, now living in the Kansas City metro, Kim is a conservative Midwestern gal whose heart is also in the Seattle area, where her eldest daughter, son-in-law, and grandson live. Kim is a working speech pathologist who left school system employment behind to subcontract to an agency, and has never looked back. She describes her conservatism as falling in the mold of Russell Kirk's Ten Conservative Principles. Don't know what they are? Google them!

1 Comment
  • Jeffersonian says:

    I think it’s unfair to refer to the diminutive Bill Mahr as a blobfish. But the gramps Munster comparison seems fair.

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