ALman says:

I’ve preferred, mostly from the beginning, to read what he has to say. After five years, this hasn’t changed. I find him a bore, self-centered and lacking substance. I’d rather keep track of my nose hair growing than listen to any sppech of his, with one exception: a resignation one.

ALman says:

Now, now, Kate. While I appreciate that, please don’t overdue on my account. I’m sure the ‘net, or some parts of it, will be filled with wonder at his rhetorical acumen, though there growing snickers that can’t be ignored.

ALman says:

Having obtained an early copy of the speech and with the aid of a fortune teller, I have this to report concerning tonight’s SOTUS:

Welcome everybody! I know you have been waiting a whole year for me to speak to you. Your prayers have been answered. Isn’t this a great country that you have this opportunity to hear me. I need to ensure that we stay on time tonight. I promised Michelle and the girls. So, you see the cheerleaders on either side of me. They’ll lead you when it’s time to applaud. Oops! You missed on that one. Let’s try it again. There you go. Now, stop! You’re making me blush. (after 1/2 hour)

Now, as I begin, I want you to know how much you can trust that this is the year. It’s not my fault that my opponents don’t understand such simple matters as I do. I know and you know that anyone who has sought my help and aid has received as much. Now, it’s not my fault that . . . (after another 1/2 hour)

As I was saying to Hillary, uh, uh, uh. I said, Michelle, folk don’t appreciate how hard I’ve had to work on their behalf. I know that I have offered what I have planned and I know that I have established a basis like none other. Folk say I’m not as popular. I know I’m even more popular now than in 2008. Folk in Hollywood tell me so all the time. So, consider (an hour later)

Why just yesterday as I was helping the IRS to establish target goals for this very important election year, I want you to know that I have signed orders enabling them to do the work I need them to do, free from unnecessary government rules and regulation. (15 mins later)

I know folk complained about the little bump in the road when health care went online. Once I was able to establish what program code needed correction, it worked as I thought it should. Now, it’s a success. I couldn’t be more pleased. (another 1 1/2 hours passes)

As I’ll state to Pope Francis when he sees me, there are changes I think he needs to make that I know will . . .

History records that it went on and on and on and on . . . Afterwards, while she was commenting on the brilliance of the speech, Nancy Pelosi fainted, overcome by the power of his persona. Harry Reid stated that if he had a son, he’d be just like him. Joe Biden said he couldn’t have done any better, although, as usual, that grin of his was disconcerting. Hillary said he was remarkable. Then, she couldn’t speak further because she had a coughing spell that some thought was more like laughter. History also records that he used the pronoun “I” 1,548 times. He cast blame 317 times. Cher said her faith in him had been restored. And, Chris Matthews said he got the tingle back, though this time it was in both legs. As usual, the GOP response “sucked”. He seriously thought of a third term, but changed his mind when Michelle threatened to castrate him while he slept.

Xavier says:

I’ve watched every primary for both elections. I watched the DNC and RNC Conventions. I’ve watched all of Barry’s SOTUs so far. I have listened to his frequent propaganda speeches.

And I’ve had it. I can’t bear to listen to this evil self centered charlatan any more. Post the transcript and we can discuss it, but I cannot stand the sound of his voice or cadence.

My prediction: Extremists are gridlocking Congress, so I’m going to become a one man government. And, income inequality. Close with “Yay for me-me-me-me-me”.